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Happy 2011
Bobby Pawar / Jan 11, 2010, 00:52 IST

A new decade has begun. Needless to say, many of you have made resolutions in the spirit of making a new start, or even turning a new leaf. The more ambitious among you may well be thinking about turning the page and starting a new chapter. Since my mother raised me well and she will most certainly be reading this, I wish you all good luck.

A part of me wishes you fail spectacularly and I’m there to see it but that’s just because there’s nothing good to watch on TV. And I’m starved of the funnies. I haven’t laughed heartily in a while. You know, laughed so hard that the sides of your belly hurt. Maybe that just happens to fat people. While on the subject, I’m not fat. I used to be, but now my dietician tells me I’m obese. I take a little more space on the train seat than I’m entitled to.

Does that make me a bad guy? I sure hope not. I’d hate for you to think badly of me. Not as much as I’d hate finding a strand of streaked hair in my angel hair pasta though.

By now some of you must be wondering isn’t this column supposed to be on advertising. It is, in a twisted sort of way. What we are advertising here is my ability to digress and your generosity because you, after all, are indulging me as I prattle along without any apparent purpose. Perhaps my prattling is actually what “they” call musing.

Say, don’t we use “they say” fairly often in conversation? “They” say it will rain day after tomorrow. “They” say putting your feet on the table will give you hernia.

Who exactly, are “they”, I wonder? Don’t you? Shouldn’t you? What if “they” are a bunch of jelly-like aliens who are living among us disguised as mixed-fruit jam? Don’t let the fact that “they” are tasty sidetrack you. What if “they” are here on earth to conquer the planet and turn us all into slaves?

And since “they” don’t have arms to use against us, nor do they have arms to carry arms, their weapon of choice are words “they” plant in our heads. When we start to completely believe any sentence that starts with “They say”, maybe that’s when “they” will say, “They say if you listen to everything that the bottle of mixed-fruit jam in your refrigerator says you will instantly become beautiful/handsome, filthy rich and god will personally escort you to heaven while you are still alive and fabulous.” Pretty soon we will be saying that to each other till we are infected with the message and then we will be taking orders from Boonathanians. That’s not their real name; I just made it up, because “they” haven’t told us what their name is.

I know all this sounds a bit far-fetched, but so did Galileo when he said the earth revolves around the sun.

The point of this little merry-go-round, and astoundingly enough there’s one, is simply this: People will be engaged with you if your communication gives them something. Every ad is like a gift box — it better have something that the person loves after she takes the trouble to open it. Add what your advertising gives your consumer to your brief. Is it a piece of information that will affect their lives or how they live? Is it a smile, a journey to fond memories? What it should be will be decided by the character of your brand, how it talks and behaves.

Another thing, don’t believe when anyone says, “They say, nobody reads a long copy”, or any such cliché. The thing is that people will stay with you if you take them along on a trip that they enjoy. You are still reading this, aren’t you? And this is word number 669.

One last thing. Have fun. It bears repeating. Have a boatload of fun. Live in the moment but look forward. Live this year to the fullest and I promise you will have even better time next year. Unless, of course the mixed-fruit jam bottles tell us to be miserable. If that happens, we’re all toast.

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