Reality TV star and retired Olympic gold medal-winning decathlete Caitlyn Jenner, who announced her transition from man to woman last year, says she felt "disgusted" seeing herself in the mirror when she was known as athlete Bruce Jenner.
Caitlyn graced the cover of Sports Illustrated's latest issue to celebrate the 40th anniversary of her decathlon win at the 1976 Summer Olympic Games. Wearing her gold medal and a glittery jumpsuit, the "I Am Cait" star opened up about her past body issue as Bruce, reports aceshowbiz.com.
While recalling the morning after winning the 1976 decathlon, Caitlyn said she stood naked in front of the mirror at her Montreal hotel.
"It disgusted me. I was big and thick and masculine. The rest of the world thought it was this Greek god kind of body. I hated it. But it's what I was given, so I just tried to do the best I could with it," Caitlyn said.
While holding her right hand about four feet off the floor, Caitlyn said: "Little Caitlyn has been in there since I was this big. Sometimes she raised her cute little head more than others. I was female inside, but I wasn't an effeminate male. So I could hide easily in the male world. My life was distraction after distraction after distraction.
"Being a macho male was a way for me to try to convince myself that the woman living inside of me really isn't living inside me. Obviously, it didn't work. I was always considering plastic surgery. When you're gender dysphoric, you're constantly looking at yourself and seeing things that don't look right."
--IANS
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