Let's get the men talking. Period.

On May 28, the whole world will observe International Menstrual Hygiene Day. It’s the perfect time for me to tell the story of Sachin Gupta  (14) of Sonva village in Bakshi Ka Talab block of Lucknow district. This young boy has given his sisters Juhi (18), Mansi (16), Sanjana (15) and Jaya (14) a thoughtful but highly unusual gift, a sanitary napkin incinerator that he has built with his own hands. To me, Sachin’s story highlights the crucial male voice that is often missing from the public discourse on what’s considered an essentially feminine subject — menstruation.  

Last year, the young schoolboy underwent training to become a peer educator on sanitation in his village. “That was the first time I learnt about menstruation and what my mother and sisters undergo every month,” he recalled. He was gobsmacked that an uncomfortable but normal biological event happened to his beloved sisters every single month and yet he was unaware. “When I tried to talk to them, they laughed in embarrassment and sent me packing,” he said. However, Sachin was determined to show he cared. “Since there is no chemist nearby, I realised my sisters had to walk a distance to buy sanitary pads. So I started getting them for my sisters to save them the trouble,” he added. During his training with WaterAid India, he realised that sanitary waste disposal was also critical to his sisters’ welfare. “I realised that if my sisters also had an incinerator at home, they won’t have to throw their waste in the fields. So I built them one from clay I collected from the local pond,” said Sachin.

Today, thanks to this young boy’s efforts, the Gupta household has been transformed. Not only are his sisters comfortable talking about periods with him as well as their mother Suman, they even joke about them with their feisty grandmother Lakshmi Devi. While I was there, the old granny regaled us with stories of her own childhood, when in the absence of any other option, she would wrap ash from the kitchen hearth inside a long piece of cloth and tie it between her legs when she was on her period. The girls dissolved into giggles when she dramatically rolled out a sample for us using an old dupatta, but sobered when she said how uncomfortable they were. “We used to get cuts, infections, itching and worse because of them,” the old lady said.

Lakshmi Devi is happy that the atmosphere in their house is different now. She told us that in her younger days, menstruation was something they didn’t even speak about among friends. “This crushing silence and embarrassment is the reason why so many women have such a hard time, fall ill even, during those days,”  said she adding, “which is why I feel so happy when I see the change that Sachin has brought in our house”.

Sachin told me that his friends often laughed at him for getting involved in “women’s matters”. “I tell them it’s men like them who need to change their mindsets, not I,” he said. 

He’s so right. We need to bring the men into menstruation dialogues urgently. This might be the most efficient way to bring this important issue into the mainstream and tear away the shroud of silence that envelops it even today.