Life after layoffs: Disbelief, confusion and a fight for survival

As they cope with grief and a feeling of loss, many of those let go by firms are turning to therapy

Himanshu Kumar wanted to send a tweet commemorating Martyr's Day on January 30 – the day Mahatma Gandhi was killed in 1948. Instead, as the 32-year-old was checking his calendar in the morning to prepare for a busy Monday, he received a Zoom link. On the other side of his screen were many like him, and three solemn faces waiting to deliver the news: Their services were no longer required. 

The tech worker, who had flown to the US six years ago from Begusarai, Bihar, scrambled to message a few colleagues before his Slack access was cut. 

He then called his wife to share what had just happened, as he stared at the picture of his 2-year-old son.

And then it hit him. He had to find another job in 60 days to keep his H1B visa.

Stories like Kumar's are playing out across the world as an unprecedented number of people have lost their jobs. The latest round of layoffs has only made finding work harder.

While the professional community has come forward to lend a helping hand, the life after layoff is one of disbelief, confusion, and a struggle for survival.

"Layoffs are associated directly with grief and loss," says Mumbai-based therapist Vidhi Tamboli.   

"Once the initial shock is over, individuals may go through a range of emotions – from the anger of ‘How could they do this to me?’ and the resistance of ‘This can’t happen to me’, to the sadness of ‘Will I ever find another job?’ and the acceptance of ‘This is not permanent and I will bounce back’."

The founder of The Mood Space, an e-counselling platform for mental health, adds that these stages are not linear as they are personal to one's experiences and personalities.

Smriti Joshi, who is based out of Gurugram, concurs. The chief psychologist at mental health app Wysa says people had started reaching out when global firms began downsizing at the start of the pandemic. "Now, they are reaching out as they experience panic because a close colleague, or their spouse has been let go – or as they grieve losing their job at an organisation they had worked at for the past 20 years."

She says people are also bringing in feelings of intense anger, betrayal and shame, which can make it hard to trust any other organisation as well.

Worse, some are questioning their own self-worth after losing a job that was an extension of their identity.

They fear they would be asked why they left their previous organisation and that revealing they were fired may cast doubts on their skill set.

Psychologist Himani Verma, who divides her time between Delhi and Canada, is well aware of this.

"One of my clients shared her fears of responding to this question. Her fear stems from the fact that in every interview, she was questioned about her job performance and credibility at previous jobs," says the programme manager at MINDS Foundation, a not-for-profit that works at the grassroots on community mental health. 

But acknowledging our fears and addressing them in therapy can help, says Tanmoy Goswami, who worked in Delhi for a global media start-up. In 2020, just before Christmas, he received a message that his firm was discontinuing operations. His first thought was of never being able to meet his team again.

Then came the feeling of the unknown. “I had always left jobs on my own terms, and to be at the receiving end of a decision like that — I simply didn’t have the capacity to understand what was happening to me,” says Goswami, now 40.

Two days later, he was on a flight to his home in West Bengal after his mother called him to say, "Baba is in the ICU." His father has since recovered, but he says he didn't get the time to mourn his job loss. "I had to immediately jump to how am I going to rebuild my livelihood."

His loyal base of readers was his guiding light through the gloom. He began publishing his work on newsletter platform Substack. "I was just throwing things to see what sticks, and the Substack kind of did." 

Goswami has since created Sanity by Tanmoy, an independent mental-health storytelling platform.

He says he had to learn many things – from managing subscriptions and design to how to read code for building the website. There was also the anxiety of living with an income stream dependent on subscribers.

The support – wanted and unwanted

Coupled with anxiety is the hit to one’s confidence. It can feel like a parental figure has abandoned them, especially for those who haven't experienced it before.

Psychologist Divija Bhasin says in these times people need emotional security from their family – that they won't be shunned because they have lost their job.

Says Bhasin, "Women are worried their parents will marry them off and they won’t be financially independent. They have to ‘prove’ themselves to their parents.”

"For men, this problem shows up in a different way. They are worried nobody will marry them if they do not have a good job," adds the founder of The Friendly Couch, a New Delhi-based mental health organisation.

Many find it difficult to answer questions about their job status and start avoiding social events. It is important to give them the space to process and grieve their loss, says Priya Hiranandani–Vandrevala, co-founder, Vandrevala Foundation.

Some have dialled the Mumbai-headquartered foundation's free mental health helpline to express irritation and anger at unsolicited advice shared by others. 

"Few callers have also mentioned they are constantly forwarded job offers and help to draft résumés when all they want is some quiet time to be alone,” says Hiranandani–Vandrevala. “What is often not understood is that layoff is a sudden, abrupt, and unforeseen change, and the reactions are no different from any other grief reaction."

Shift the focus

That's why planning ahead for such an eventuality helps, says 25-year-old Yash Agarwal.

His tweet on November 4 last year reading, "Just got laid off," and thanking the "Bird App" for the honour and privilege to be part of the team, had gone viral.

"I had anticipated (job cuts) not because of Mr (Elon) Musk, but due to the larger macro-economic scenario... As a general precautionary measure, I save a lot of what I earn. And I keep up to date with the most recent career trends."

He says what helped him was the belief that things would be fine. He has since set up a consulting firm and is working to build a policy school.

But if it's the internal critic raising questions about your future, Goswami, who is currently a fellow at the Reuters Institute for the Study of Journalism at the University of Oxford, has a word of advice. "You could see yourself as completely worthless, but others don't see you like that. The more you learn to accept that, the stronger your chances of holding on to sanity."

Kumar agrees. His wife and son have since joined him in the US. His friends, former co-workers and LinkedIn network have come to his aid and offered help in finding a job and extended referrals. "I won't lose my spirit," he declares before getting back to work. After all, finding a job is a full-time job.

How to prepare for a layoff

The scale of pink slips issued globally has meant many no longer feel they are in the safe zone, with one in four Indians concerned about being laid off, according to marketing data and analytics firm Kantar's 2023 survey.

Here's a few things one can do to prepare for the worst as they hope for the best:

• Make a copy of your personal information and sample work in your private email address/cloud
• Update your résumé
• Keep a rainy-day fund ready so you don't have to choose the first job you are offered if you get laid off
• Remember that most layoffs are due to business decisions taken in the backdrop of an inflation-hit global economy. You are not at fault
• Prepare for interviews, especially your answer to the question: "Why did you leave your last job?"
• Consider seeking therapy to better understand the underlying issues that may trigger panic