Last week, this is what my son, who will be in Hong Kong for a conference at the time the election results are announced, said: "I hope you do not mind but I have asked my friends to join me on a trip to Macau, so I will not be able to entertain you at the time."
I couldn't grudge my son an extended vacation on the tail of a working trip, so I said, "Of course, it is okay, but I will look forward to your return." "Thanks, Dad," he replied, "but because it is so hot in Delhi, I will be going off to Ladakh for a fortnight, but don't worry, you have the rest of the family to keep you amused."
I thought it was nice of him to be concerned about my welfare, but at the time I didn't know my daughter's plans. Then she announced that since her friend, who owns a hotel in Goa, had invited her to visit, she had said yes because, "What's there to do in the heat in Delhi?" I pointed out that Goa in May is as hot, if not hotter, than the capital, but she'd already booked her tickets, and as they're non-refundable, I said, "Don't worry about my drudgery and enjoy yourself, I'm sure I'll manage okay." And my daughter said, "Without your children, you and mom can have a honeymoon, just like it used to be before we came along."
At which point her mother said, "I have been thinking - and not that I mean to abandon you - but if all you're going to be doing is working, then it will be boring for me with the children gone, so I have spoken to my brother and have decided to go to America for a month." "But the cook is also on leave," I pointed out to my wife. "I know, darling," she said, "but since you're always so critical of his cooking, I'm sure you would love to try your own hand at Nigella Lawson's gourmet recipes." Adding, for my benefit, "I'll make sure to leave the kitchen well stocked."
The summer wasn't turning out at all the way I'd expected, and I admit to feeling a bit abandoned. Maybe I could join my son for a few days in Ladakh? "No, Dad," he punctured my hopes, "we're driving up and back, and there's no room for you in the car." My daughter said she'd love to have me in Goa, but seeing as hers was a girl gang, I'd be out of place.
"I'll find the time to come with you," I finally said to my wife, but she moved fast to quash that idea. "You have to stay home," she said, "to walk the dog." Which is why the two of us will be watching the crowning of a new king in Delhi's durbar while the family holidays elsewhere.