Pirates of the Caribbean review: A tale not worth telling

The latest Pirates of the Caribbean film is a 142-minute torment, writes Kakoli Chakraborty

In 2003, based on an attraction at Disney's several theme parks, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl  won several hearts and an Academy Award nomination for Johnny Depp. Captain Jack Sparrow was unleashed and so was his inebriated humour. It was clear that the film would go on to become a successful franchise. Since then, four sequels have been churned out, the latest being Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. 

The problem with franchises is that somewhere along the line, they lose their essence and one is left with an amalgamation of rehashed storylines and lukewarm humour. Dead Men Tell No Tales is no different. This film, much like the others in the franchise, revolves around a parallel storyline and some people who are out to kill Sparrow. I think the filmmakers knew they would get caught in the act, which is why the hues used in the film are so dark that sometimes you would have to squint to make out what's happening. 

The Joachim Rønning- and Espen Sandberg-directed film, the fifth in the franchise, can be best described as an overkill. You expect to find the same old Sparrow, with his wit and knack for getting into trouble, had you coming back for more. Instead, you find the captain trying too hard to save the “sinking ship” and ultimately going down with it.

Dead Men Tell No Tales revolves around Poseidon’s Trident, an artifact that would let the user control the sea and break all curses. Elizabeth and William Turner’s son, Henry, decides to go looking for it so as to free his father from the Flying Dutchman’s curse. He is joined by Carina Smyth, a woman adept in astronomy and horology and also accused of witchcraft, who claims to know how to find the Trident. The Trident is also fancied by Sparrow and Captain Armando Salazar, the undead pirate hunter of the Spanish Navy stuck in the Devil’s Triangle. The rest of the film has the usual Pirates tropes: Sparrow is about to be executed or killed, but is miraculously saved. He is greedy, but has a change of heart. His insatiated thirst for adventure takes him on another voyage at the end of the film. The problem is that one has already experienced these tropes four times. I kept trying to find a reason as to why this film was made but came up short. 

Depp dons the hat of Sparrow once again, but with little enthusiasm. Sparrow has been one of Depp’s widely recognised characters. The wit, the slurry speech and the comic timing made Sparrow a much-loved character. But in this film, Depp seems to have lost interest. Or maybe he also knows there’s no use stretching the series. Two new faces have joined the Pirates crew: Brenton Thwaites who essays the role of Henry Turner and Kaya Scodelario who portrays Carina Smyth. Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley reprise their roles of Hector Barbossa, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, respectively. The main reason why I wanted to watch this film was Javier Bardem. Bardem portrays Armando Salazar, a ruthless and powerful undead pirate looking for Sparrow’s head and the Trident. It’s almost heartbreaking to see Bardem’s talent going to waste. Dead Men Tell No Tales is a prime example of how an actor can't salvage a film if the plot keeps pulling him down. 

The entertaining parts of the film are sparse. Sure, your funny bone is tickled when Sparrow’s character makes an impressive entrance or when a guillotine is hell-bent on chopping off his head. But they're not enough or humane to let you sit through this 142-minute torment.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales can be best described with an idiom: flogging a dead horse.