Taking the shine off
At least the Shiney Ahuja rape case has taken some pressure off Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s shoulders, a friend says on Twitter, and he’s right: it takes something very special for the captain of a World Cup-losing cricket team to be only the second most vilified public figure in the country.
The Ahuja story has also made life easy for headline and text writers, who have been driven into a state of delirium by the many punning possibilities it presents. A comprehensive list would fill up this space, but samples include “India still Shineying?”, “The sun don’t shine on Shiney” and “Shiney, Shiney, Fading Bright”. (And this before we get into “Maid to order” territory.) It seems there’s finally a reason to be thankful about the existence of ridiculous north Indian nicknames.
Something else that would fill this space a hundred times over: the comments on the Rediff.com messageboard (http://tinyurl.com/ ldr5pf), that peerless barometer of the human condition. They include culinary metaphors such as this one: “All Men are Men. Shiney was not getting home food or from actresses. How many days he can live like that. As he was without food for so many days, even Maid attracted him, I saw the pic of the maid from the side angle, she had a good structure” (http://tinyurl.com/l2lcnr).
Also: “I am shocked that a guy who is nominated as the Worlds Best Looking Male will try to rape a maid...there is something fishy.”
This last comment is a pointer to a rapidly developing sub-plot that tells us more than we want to know about class relations in India. The sub-plot goes something like this: “But why would this well-off, chikna actor go for a mere maid?”, with a large number of people less shocked by the rape itself than by the skin colour/class/perceived attractiveness of the victim (Couldn’t he find someone better?).
Also on display is a simple-minded view of human nature, as in the comment that explains that “only uncivilised and barbarians commit rape. Shiney is a family man, he would not committed this crime”. Meanwhile, someone has set up a fake Twitter account in the name of the “family man” (http:// twitter.com/ shineyahuja) and is updating it with entries like “Still staring at the jail wall”, “My favourite subject in college was Bai-ology” and “200 maids are likely to gather outside the Oshiwara police station...WOW!” And Shobhaa De points out on her blog (http://tinyurl.com/lgnd36) that Shiney will probably be ostracised by the industry because he isn’t a star son with connections and stays away from filmi shindigs. “That’s why I liked the chap... found him attractively aloof... he is certainly not the first ‘star rapist’ in Bollywood.”
If you haven’t been in a coma these past few days, you’ll know that the actor’s wife has — in the best tradition of the Bharatiya pativrata nari responsible for safeguarding family honour — been defending her man with heartfelt but comical-sounding statements like “Shiney is my soulmate and I am so proud of him”. The Voice of Women and Families in India website (http://tinyurl. com/lhaj34) has come down heavily on Mrs Ahuja. “It is shocking that she is denying that her husband raped the maid, and alleging a frame-up,” says the site. “It is important that empathy is shown to the victim (even if she is a menial maid by profession).” But the “Myths, Facts, Etc” weblog (http://tinyurl. com/lwxlwx) seems to think that Mrs Ahuja will come to her senses soon. In a post titled “Shiney not so bright”, it says, “I am sure the wife will leave him eventually: After all, it’s quite a task to retain a maid in Mumbai!”