No news is good news

Every columnist, every ex-columinist and every aspiring columnist has written about the horrible happenings at a five-star hotel in Goa. Now Free Run cannot give the impression that it is not moved by what was definitely not an Otis moment for the dramatis personae of the November Act. After all, silence means assent. Heck, even vehement protests, it has been argued, imply assent, to wit the self-same events at the five-star hotel in Goa. So, while fully mindful of the pain suffered by one of the parties in the sordid drama, Free Run needs must chronicle the aftermath of the salacious saga in certain quarters.

AT THE CONGRESS HEADQUARTERS: A huddle of white khadis sat amid much tittering a couple of days after the media had broken the news of events at the five-star hotel in Goa. Amid glances at the 40-inch flat panel showing hectoring anchors and sanctimonious studio guests discussing the issue thread bare, the khadis joyously looked at pages of the newspapers - all filled with facts, fiction and factoids about the dire doings at the five-star hotel in Goa. "Ha, ha, ha, look at that, look at the stories," said one. "Yes, absolutely great," said another. The others too had eyes that shone bright with ecstasy. There was a mild kerfuffle when Madam glided in and past them. They hurried to stand up straight, only to bend themselves into what looked like a yogic asana that could well be called the kowtowasana. One of them even made a tentative move to proffer the newspaper to Madam, before being reminded of his own derring-do and hastily retreating into a kowtowasana. If you thought the air of joy at the HQ was at the news of someone getting his just desserts for the perfidious play at the five-star hotel in Goa, you learnt better - because there was another hearty guffaw and someone rasped, "Yes, for days now, Modi has been missing from the headlines, love it. Thanks to Goa and hotel lifts."

AT THE BJP HEADQUARTERS: If Congressmen love it, wouldn't the saffronites hate it? But behold, the mood at the BJP headquarters was even brighter than the bright saffron of their lotus logo. Here too, a huddle of white khadis tittered and guffawed. The careful politics watcher could almost sniff a sense of relief among the worthies conversing among themselves along the red granite corridors of the HQ. But why were they so smug? Wouldn't what elated the Congressmen have deflated the lotus eaters? Their main - rather only - combatant had been dispatched from the headlines and yet here they were, grinning like Chespur cats. There was a flow of comments that mirrored those in the Congress camp and everyone seemed at ease with the world. "Yes, thanks to our gods and goddesses, the channels are all agog about what happened at the hotel in Goa," chuckled one. "Absolutely right," chirped another, "it is truly a godsend, it cannot be a coincidence, it has to be an omen of victory." Such talk was bemusing, to say the least. Did these men actually want their main man out of the limelight? Well, it seems, yes. For the mystery was solved when a portly, belching stalwart stood up, yawned, and said, "It was getting a bit tiring to see that story of the Ahmedabad snooping constantly in the headlines. And you know what, people were beginning to believe Modiji had a hand in it." For good effect, he pointed to a small article buried deep on page 7 of the newspaper whose headline mentioned the word "snoop" and beamed, "Thank god for that news from Goa."

IN THE TELEVISION STUDIOS: A news anchor, in mock horror, bellowed: "But why should the dirty deeds at a five-star hotel in Goa be politicised?"

Free Run is a fortnightly look at alternate realities
joel.rai@bsmail.in