The phantom car

The Rolls: more than a car, more than just another means of transportation, and, more importantly, the subject of this column this week. But alas, this time the car is more of a phantom, because when I enter the new showroom at Delhi’s Shangri-la hotel, there is no car, not even a hint of a car, anywhere. In fact, there isn’t a hint of even the sales staff.

In the showroom, a gentleman is busily mopping the floor, clearly unhappy with the drizzle that has plagued the city since the morning and no doubt bought in footfalls that have left unwelcome marks on the off-white floor.

A couple of other men are busy concentrating on the air-conditioner. One of them nudges the guard to take note of me even as I stand there, almost looking like an exhibit myself in the car-less and otherwise sparsely furnished showroom. He enquires what brings me to the Rolls-Royce showroom, without showing any hint of sarcasm.

I address him on the matter of some sales staff that I could engage with, on the minor matter of how to go about a possible test drive — the purpose of my Saturday morning visit to this showroom. “The manager,” says the guard in shudh Hindi, “has gone.” “Gone?” is my perplexed response. Gone, I am thinking in my mind, at 11 o’clock in the morning. The guard then tells me that the manager has actually gone for a test drive and won’t be back. “Could you,” I say to the guard, “please call the manager on the phone to check when he’ll be back?”

As the guard tries to dial the absent manager, he beckons me to sit. But, having had ample time to observe the sofas and to notice that a couple of creepy-crawlies have already claimed them, I am initially hesitant. But the guard insists and, having seen one sofa that isn’t hosting cockroaches, I sit down gingerly, waiting to speak to the manager.

The manager is politeness personified. “Yes,” he says, “I am out for a test drive to Vasant Vihar, but I would be happy to bring the car to your residence if you like.” “Okay,” say I, to which his reply is, “Please leave your name and number and we will call you and fix for the test drive.” And that is that.

The Rolls, sadly, remains a phantom for me.

Score: No show, no score

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