Believe-it-or-not show by Delhi

I was always skeptical about the hype surrounding the ONGC offer for sale. Some of this skepticism even found a vent in these columns. Read here: http://bit.ly/yhwvlU. But, not even the worst skeptic could have conjured up the farce that unfolded on March 1.

The start was quiet but smooth. An hour or so into the auction, there was demand for some thirty thousand shares.

Bids continued to rise gradually, but only in a few thousands. This should have rung bells, being in sharp contrast to the high octane bidding seen in the MCX IPO. But I thought, typically, like in such big auctions, the big boys will make a grand entry later.

Even the seller, the government, thought so, it seems. Sadly, in the end, there were not many big boys and the entry was far from grand. In fact, the Street is convinced that like in a boys’ hostel, the big boys got in by scaling the wall long after the party was over.

But walls can’t be scaled. It sets a bad example, you see. So, the boy and his dad pieced together a nice story for us.

The big boy said he was very much in the campus and had already put his left shoe on the door in time. But the security guard acted funny and did not give him enough room to enter, the boy complained.

But the guard was smart. He said his gate worked perfectly and according to rules. He pointed out the rules, said putting the shoe on the door is not enough, you should also have your foot in the shoe.

Now, what? Catch hold of the cobbler who made the shoe. Instead of making a left shoe and a right shoe, the cobbler made two left shoes by mistake, the boy said.

Therefore, he could not put the right leg in to the left shoe, which he had put on the door before it closed. If the right leg had the right shoe, he would have got in in time, he reasoned.

So, it was the cobbler’s mistake; what will the poor boy do? The guard was not convinced. How will the old cobbler, who had made a million shoes in his life, not know right and left? How will I explain this to the warden, he asked.

The guard was then given an undertaking signed by the cobbler that he indeed made two left shoes.

The guard took the undertaking from the cobbler and the boy was let in. An investigation by the warden was ordered to find out what was wrong with the gate, the cobbler and the left shoe. The cobbler is now worried and is planning to blame the cow, whose skin he ripped to make the shoe.

Meanwhile, the divestment department has asked for a probe by the regulator on what is wrong with the auction mechanism, bidding system and custodian’s role. But, shouldn't the real investigation be on how the boy got in after the gates were closed?