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On Friday, I told my wife I was taking her out to dinner at La Piazza. "And who else will there be?" she asked. "Why, no one," I said, "I thought it would be nice if just you and I had a romantic dinner by ourselves." "It's all right," she said, "you can tell me what you've done. For a meal at such a fancy restaurant III forgive you 9 most anything."

The children were much tougher to handle. "Why aren't you taking us?" my son wanted to know. "It's because he wants to kiss mummy," said my daughter knowingly, 'that's what happens in the movies." Turning to me, hands on her hips, she said, "You don't want to take us because you know II'I tell Nani."

Having braved their disapproval, we arrived a half hour late to find our reservation had lapsed, but the harried hostess promised us another table in 10 minutes. My wife did not mind waiting too much because, also in the long queue, was Kavita Bhartia who usually makes other celebrities wait at her designer store in Hauz Khas Village. Having gained a table faster than her, my wife actually smiled.

A waiter lit a candle, we were served bread hot from the restaurant's oven, and the house wine proved to be excellent. After a few sips, my wife stifled a yawn. "That's not very romantic," I chided her, "you're supposed to whisper sweet nothings."

"I got up early today because the children hadn't studied for their tests, so naturally I am sleepy," she remonstrated. "I know what, while we're waiting for the waiter to take our order, why don't we do the grocer's

hisaab. That way, I'll have a little time to myself tomorrow "

This was not too romantic, but it was better than her yawning, and at least people who saw us with our heads bent together would assume we were having a wonderful time and feel envious, so I didn't protest.

By the time our soups arrived (chicken with mint and almond, in case you wondered), we had figured out who had been misusing our STD facility, and whether we could afford to pay the maid her salary. Having exhausted most

of our appetite on the soup, we now proceeded to wait for the main course, whiling away the time wondering who else in the restaurant was a celebrity. Looking around, my wife saw someone she recognised and said, "I'll be back as soon as I've said hello." It was much later that she returned, by which Curie I bad eaten my quail, and her prawns had grown cold. "Never mind," she giggled - obviously she'd shared a glass of wine with her friends - "I've had something to eat while I waswith them, so what I'll do is just take the prawns home " Looking furtively around, she swiped the prawns into her napkin, and the napkin into her hand bag.

Seeing my horrified look, she said, "Okay, okay, I'll r