Give them a break

Parents often complain that their children join a class and then easily lose interest. Anyone who has to attend five to six different classes every week will lose interest. But maybe they have lost interest because this doesn't interest them to begin

Tanya has ballet, tennis and piano on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesday, she has art and on Thursday, skating. On five days of the week, she has Kumon. Saturday, she has tennis and piano again. Sunday used to be free but now she needs Hindi tuition, so that's been fitted in on that day.

Aryan has guitar, golf and taekwondo on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesday and Thursday, he stays back in school (which anyway ends at 3.20 pm) for football. His maths skills are honed on five days through an abacus class. On the weekend, his schedule gets even more gruelling. Accompanied by an exhausted maid and driver, he has almost four classes to make it to every Saturday. Sunday is sort of free, although he usually has some birthday to attend at one of the malls - something that has also begun to feel like a bit of a chore.

Confused? Well, so am I and, trust me, so are the kids. We as parents and a society seem to have made classes into some kind of religion. Have we stopped to think what exactly we are trying to achieve? Is there a method to this madness?

And the more I look around me, the more convinced I get that there isn't. I have seen cousins, friends, acquaintances, parents, fathers, mothers and even grandparents have succumbed of late, spending a shocking amount of time and money driving or ferrying their kids to classes with a missionary zeal. To what avail is the question. Of all these nephews, nieces, friend's children, none is playing the guitar, singing, dancing, playing any sport with any real conviction; the pressures and competition of academics takes over and all these pastimes are just that - pastimes. There may be an odd child who sticks on with some hobby introduced to him at the right stage by the right instructor, but these are more often than not the exceptions.

I am not saying there needs to be a blanket ban on classes or that just because we didn't really do very many classes, neither should our kids. A lot of this was not available to us (and in many cases was not affordable or considered relevant) but it is today. Luckily, a lot of us can afford it. It's better to keep him busy than have him slumped before the television. Or glued to his Playstation. I can understand that. So, by all means, let the children explore what they are keen on and let them try their hand at it.

But remember that a child only has two hands. You cannot be an artist, a tennis player, a pianist, an athlete, a gymnast, a rider, a dancer…and the list goes on. Parents often complain that their children join a class and then easily lose interest. Anyone who has to attend almost five to six different classes every week will lose interest. But maybe he or she has lost interest because this doesn't interest him or her to begin with. Maybe she is being coerced to learn the piano because you always wanted to learn and somehow couldn't. Maybe he is not remotely into cricket but in fact wants to cook. If he is doing some class, let him do it for the right reasons; not because you want him out of your hair or because it's the only way you know to keep him off the screens. Don't make him run around like a headless chicken.

And coming to maths, some of us have it and some don't. Not every one of us will be a mathematical genius. I even know a child who was attending a Rubik's cube class twice a week because the parents believed (or had been sold this story) that it would help his maths skills. Kumon, abacus, simple old maths tuition but Rubik's cube? That to my mind is really taking it too far.

Disclaimer: If anyone I know happens to read this, I wasn't referring to you!

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