Nope, Rs 100 cr ain't enough

With $18 mn in your pocket, it might seem that the world is at your feet

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That glorious day when your bank sends an SMS that you have accumulated Rs 100 crore (a little over $18 million) in your account has finally arrived. You're all geared up to get access to elite clubs, make high-risk investments, enjoy the decadent luxuries that life has to offer, along with the exclusive privilege of hobnobbing with the mighty rich across the globe. The world, as they say, is now your oyster. But before you break out the exorbitant bubbly or give yourself a pat on the back and plan for a lavish retirement, consider this: the money cannot buy you a noteworthy stake in Reliance Industries; in fact, you will get to own no more than 0.04 per cent of the company! You will miss Business Standard's listing of the country's 100 richest people, The Billionaire Club, by a mile. In the last list (compiled in December 2012), the cutoff was Rs 1,927 crore. You will be a part of the long tail of faceless Indian billionaires.

If you're looking to move into the neighbourhood of illustrious businessmen like the Jindal brothers, Analjit Singh and Sunil Mittal in Lutyens' Delhi, you need to work harder and earn more. A 5,000-square-foot bungalow set on a 3,200-square-yard plot here costs Rs 320 crore. So you will have to stay with the great unwashed. You will have to spend your holidays in hotels and resorts with other guests because you can't afford a private island in the Bahamas or the British Virgin Islands, like Johnny Depp or Richard Branson, because the price tag is well over Rs 150 crore. You will fly around with countless others, though not 'cattle class', since a customised private jet, like the Gulfstream IV owned by K P Singh or Atul Punj, is beyond your reach - it costs over Rs 150 crore. While Mukesh Ambani's Boeing Business Jet 2 (worth $73 million, or nearly Rs 400 crore) is way out of your league, even wife Nita's birthday gift - the Rs 242-crore Airbus 319 Corporate Jet - won't fit your budget. A fancy yacht, like Vijay Mallya's Indian Empress which he has now sold off, too will be a distant dream: Mallya reportedly paid a Qatari Sheikh Rs 450 crore for it.

So fancy baubles it is then? Well, not if you're coveting the treasure trove of the Nizams. The jewellery, including the famous 184.5-carat Jacob diamond, is priced at over Rs 400 crore. If you're an art connoisseur wanting exclusivity, don't have your heart set on Alberto Giacometti's sculpture of a grimly-determined walking man, the most expensive work of art ever sold at auction - for £65 million (over Rs 500 crore).

With Rs 100 crore, you should be able to make an action-packed film with an A-list leading star, right? Why not get Tom Cruise to perform a death-defying stunt atop the Burj Khalifa? Well, because you can't afford him. While he usually charges over Rs 140 crore for a film, Forbes reported that Cruise is the highest-earning actor in Hollywood, pulling in an astonishing $75 million (over Rs 400 crore) between May 2011 and 2012. Even Salman Khan charges Rs 100 crore for a film now. You could hire him but then there will be nothing left in your account to pay the extras.

If your wife demands all the expensive cosmetic surgeries in the world - even a full body lift for $20,000 -, keep her happy. That's because divorce settlements can make you bankrupt with so little money. Learn from Rupert Murdoch who agreed to let his ex-wife Anna walk away with $1.7 billion worth of his assets, $110 million of it in cash; superstar Michael Douglas got a cheaper deal when he paid alimony of $45 million to ex-wife Diandra. Douglas, of course, found bliss with the stunning Catherine Zeta-Jones.

So why not throw caution to the winds, be adventurous and plan a space odyssey? That, too, is not doable because you can't afford to follow the footsteps of Dennis Tito who became the first private space tourist when he paid the Russians $20 million for a ticket to the International Space Station in 2001.

You poor soul!