Shrinkcar

My friend, who is a doctor in Jaipur, came especially to see the Auto Expo in New Delhi. His purpose, he said, was to find a car that suited his rising status in society. Something nice and big, he said, and perhaps even a little... he hesitated before admitting to a fault, flashy.

There were lots of people and lots of cars at the fair grounds, so naturally we had to explore the possibilities following an exhaustive walkaround. At the stall of a rather well-known Korean car company, my friend asked to be shown the best they had to offer.

Our latest, said the girl in a miniskirt and wide-brimmed hat who attended to us, is this ultimate small car...

My friend started at the word small, and before I knew it, we were out and in close company with the makes of a Japanese manufacturer.

Show me the largest car you have, demanded my friend.

Yes Sir, said the person from its head office. Would you like it in Regular, Compact or Squeeze?

Er, Regular, I think, said my friend who had never been presented such a choice before.

Would you prefer Leg-room or Elbow-room?

Leg-room definitely.

Can you select between Front-view or Rear-view?

I would like, said my friend, who is a little greedy, Front-view, Rear-view and Side-view.

That is not possible, Sir, said the salesman, wilting under pressure, but you can choose between one seat or two.

Two seats, spluttered my friend, two seats!?

Taking that as a confirmation, the salesman continued: Side-by-side or front-to-back?

What about both? countered my friend.

That is not possible, Sir, said the salesman. Why, that would make it a mini-bus.

In that case, can you show me your buses. Maybe then my family can actually sit in the vehicle instead of merely looking at it.

And no, he continued, I do not have a large family, just a wife and two kids. And as an afterthought, But I do have a driver who, preferably, should sit at the steering. And it would be nice to occasionally take the dog along for an outing too.

Affronted, the salesman protested, But such a car is obsolete. All new cars have either a Small, Mini or Thimble version. Now which would you like to see?

At the next stall, my friend asked at the information desk, Do you have anything that is a car but doesnt look like a scooter? The lady gave him a folder and said, We have made many technological advancements, among them making a scooter look like a car. So why would we want to reverse the process? And then she looked pointedly towards the next customer, dismissing my friend with a wave of her hand.