Tips for women who want more sex than men

Usually it's the men who want more sex than women, but what happens when it's the other way around?

Vanessa Thompson, a Newcastle sexologist, attributes mismatched sex drives to testosterone levels.

She puts it down to biology, saying that typically men have the higher libido, while women have a tenth of the testosterone in men.

The shaming and pressure are shared equally, with men also feeling ashamed, according to the Sydney Morning Herald.

The reaction to this mismatch can truly damage relationships.

Men can feel insecure and threatened by their partner's sex drive and become combative as a result.

Some low-libido men can feel the only way to reclaim control of the situation is to further deny sex as a measure to punish their partners for their desire.

Any attempts by the woman to initiate sex can end in fights.

American gender studies professor Hugo Schwyzer believes social conditioning on sexual desire can complicate matters making women feel unfulfilled and shamed.

"To be a young woman with a consistently higher sexual desire than one's male partner is always going to be especially painful because of the way in which it contradicts all of our cultural programming," he said.

So what happens if you're in a relationship with a guy who doesn't want sex as often?

Both Thompson and Schwyzer believe in the importance of couples learning the difference between rejection and low sex drive to manage the issue before it damages a relationship.

Thompson has laid out some tips for couples, whose partner has a higher sex drive.

First thing first - be honest.

Let your partner know what you want and don't want.

Don't avoid the conversation and pretend you're tired and want to go to bed.

Talk about how often you want sex. Your partner may feel pressured about how often you would like sex.

Sometimes initiating a foot rub or cuddle on the couch can warm your partner up for greater pleasures.

Pleasure needn't always be a group event. A discrete session can help to satiate a physical appetite.

Often sex is used as a barometer for the health of a relationship. Investigate if a mismatch in bed means you're not matched as a couple.

Some mismatched drives need help from a third party. If you're concerned, start counselling with a sex or relationship therapist.