Kishore Singh: A writer retreats

PEOPLE LIKE US

Day one, evening, arrival at writers’ retreat in Pondicherry, SMS To Many: “There’s a cowshed at the entrance, it’s a village, so help me god!”

Reply from daughter: “Is it that bad?”

Reply from wife: “Stop cribbing.”

Day two, morning, SMS from Colleague #1: “Have you settled in?”

Reply: “This place has about 5 per cent connectivity and about as much electricity. Should sneak back to Delhi.”

Reply from Colleague #1: “That’s real India, just sit down and write. Or are you serious about running back?”

Reply to Colleague #1: “Don’t tell boss.”

Reply from Colleague #1: “Meaning you’ll sit quietly at home, bunk office?”

Reply from me: “Hmm.”

SMS from Colleague #2: “Are you alive and kicking?”

Reply: “Officially, we’re in a flood situation.”

SMS from sister: “How’s it going, brother?”

Reply, copied To Many: “Want to know the residents here? A vegan (which is different from vegetarian) who doesn’t write in English, a regional language diva who doesn’t write in English, a junkie who doesn’t even write. Besides, I have a miserable cold.”

Reply from wife: “Stop cribbing, enjoy the small things of life.”

Second SMS To Many: “Small things of life: Owls, bats, snakes, wrigglies, squigglies, mosquitoes, foxes, six resident street dogs, two cats.”

Reply from sister: “That’s our natural habitat — have a ball.”

Third SMS To Many: “And the food is overwhelmingly south Indian.”

Reply from wife: “I thought you liked south Indian food.”

Reply to wife: “Chola, sambhar-style? Fat, fat rice? Roots and shoots and branches?”

SMS To Many: “I just squished a frog inside my juttee! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!”

Reply from Colleague #2: “Wash your feet, fast.”

Reply from son: “Eeew, eew, yuck, yuck.”

Reply from sister: “Get used to it, my son found a frog in his shoes when he was just two years old.”

Reply from wife: “Stop cribbing.”

Reply from daughter: “Was the little froggie hurt?”

Day three, SMS from Colleague #2: “Is nature treating you better today?”

SMS from Colleague #1: “Still there?”

Reply, marked To Many: “On last legs, if cold doesn’t get me, I’ll die of over-sambharfication!”

Reply from Colleague #2: “Oh, shut up!”

SMS from Colleague #1: “Urban elitist! Frogs in juttees better than being mauled in our cities. But come back, all is forgiven. Office crib sessions aren’t the same without you.”

Reply to Colleague #1: “I’ll never crib in my life again, you guys have it so good you don’t even know it.”

Night, SMS To Many: “Vocabulary of theatre types here consists entirely of profanities. Feeling half human though…might even survive.”

Reply from daughter: “Papa, go to sleep.”

Reply from wife: “Stop cribbing.”

Day four, SMS to son: “This place is seriously beautiful.”

Reply from son: “How come you’re in such a sunny mood today?”

Reply to son: “Feeling better, got connectivity, cold gone.”

Day five, SMS To Many: “Beautiful day, doing great work, going to Auroville for lunch, Pondicherry for dinner, pity you Big City guys…”

Reply from Colleague #1: “Chameleon!”

Reply from Colleague #2: “Jekyll and Hyde, if there ever was one!”

Reply from Colleague #3: “How are the frogs and other wildlife treating you?”

Reply from son: “Weird!”

Reply from daughter: “Enjoy yourself.”

Reply from wife: “Stop enjoying yourself.”