The economics of a village wedding

Last week, I found Meena deep in a telephone conversation, her broom dangling forgotten in her hands. “We’re not made of money,” she was saying. “We can’t afford to serve fish on both the wedding feasts!” Minutes later, the discussion became even more heated. Clearly, the impending nuptials of her elder son were causing her grave stress. As I shamelessly eavesdropped on a debate on the pros and cons of serving alcohol to a 300-plus wedding party, I wondered why on earth she was planning such an ostentatious wedding at all. As she herself said repeatedly — she, a part-time domestic worker and her husband, a mason — didn’t have money to blow up like this. When she hung up, her face was flushed. “We’d thought that by having the wedding in our village in Odisha instead of in Delhi, we’d save money,” said she ruefully. “But expectations from wedding feasts in the village have become insane — and especially if the hosts are working in Delhi, as we are!”

Why did they even bother meeting such expectations, I asked? Reputation was everything in the village, she explained. If their relatives and neighbours found the wedding too “simple”, they’d never hear the end of it. Till about 15 years ago, she told me, village weddings were a simpler affair, usually held after the crop had been harvested and the fields were vacant. Two factors, somewhat inter-related had caused this to change in the recent years. “Everyone is hooked on to TV serials and Bollywood movies which showcase opulent weddings and costumes,” she said. “As a result, many young people, my son included, aspire for such weddings, regardless of the cost.” 

Hearing this, I suggested Meena pull out all the stops — but on a single party. “Just don’t have two feasts,” I said. She gloomily said that the young people in the village had become very fond of “dance” parties, especially now that a DJ had opened business there. “So the pre-wedding party, the sangeet, is the event everyone looks forward to the most,” she said. In that case, perhaps she could have two feasts, but reduce the guest list. She replied that the tradition in the village was to invite everyone who lived there — and of course, all the relatives who didn’t. 

They were expecting to shell out over Rs 500,000 for this wedding. “Our son wants to live separately so he’s saving his money to rent another house,” said she. “But we have some savings and our family will pitch in.” They planned to borrow the shortfall from the village moneylender as they had no land to offer as collateral to a bank. “When my husband’s younger brother got married 10 years ago, we had to migrate to Delhi to earn enough to pay back the loan,” she said. “This time, we’re planning to bring back his elder brother’s son to work in Delhi after the wedding…” 

Meena left to clean yet another home. I was left slightly aghast at the price she and her family was willing to pay to keep up their status in the village. “These things just have to be done,” she’d said as I vainly thought of ways for them to cut costs. “There’s no point fretting about them…”