Raageshwari pens book, provides tips on building happy family

Singer-actor Raageshwari Loomba Swaroop has come out with a book in which she suggests 11 mindfulness philosophies for parents to enrich and strengthen their as well as their children's inner world.

She says this book is for anyone who wishes to transform themselves into a happier and more content parent, and about stepping back and allowing children to take the lead for a change.

"Building a Happy Family: 11 Practices of Mindful Parenting" discusses how music, books, art, dance, love, among other things can work wonders and broaden views on raising children.

"It is about realising that children reflect our true nature, magnify our insecurities and mirror our frustration. So if we truly want our children to thrive emotionally, physically and mentally, we have to make the beginning," Raageshwari says.

Her relatable style is coupled with real-life examples, such as that of Albert Einstein, who couldn't speak till the age of four and was a poor student. His parents encouraged him with love and allowed him to learn at his own pace. This, she says, is the way to bring up children.

Through scientific research and her own intimate story of heartbreak and facial paralysis, Raageshwari emphasises how thoughts can manifest further struggles or glory, and how key is teaching children early that the inner world attracts the outer world.

She refers to Einstein a lot in the book, published by Penguin Random House India, because "he was not just a great academic but also a happy, warm and playful person. He never seemed adrift in social settings. Most importantly, he was a genius because he kept the child in him alive".

Raageshwari also talks about inner-work philosophies, just as there are many meditation techniques.

She says to counter anxiety, restlessness, anger, stress and depression, one can turn to the Zen method, wherein one build their centre by focusing only on one object; the mantra method, wherein one builds awareness by consistent repetition of a mantra or a shloka; and the T'ai chi, yoga or Qigong method, wherein one builds alertness with slow body movements to align with inner feelings and thoughts.

She adds that, however, mindfulness is particularly brilliant for parents because it gently reminds everyone to be present, to live to the fullest now, to not be concerned about getting to the next place.

"By being present now, we give children what they crave - our complete attention. Not to mention, we learn to be happy, we learn to be grateful and we alleviate stress and anxiety. In short, we become like children," she writes.

For Raageshwari, music is one of the most powerful mindfulness tools because with just one note it can alter one's frame of mind instantly.

"We can use this to our advantage as we are often faced with situations in which people sap our energy, or when, for instance, we have lost a job, been hurt in love or are doing poorly. Just keep music ready at all times. Be it in your mind, or on your phone or music player," she says.

She says some of the mindfulness benefits of music are - it hones a personality with discipline, focus and patience; refines self-expression and communication by building confidence; and provides comfort by diminishing stress and anxiety.

On the benefits of reading, she says, it promotes empathy and emotional intelligence by understanding different characterisations, builds cognitive skills through a photographic memory of words, and builds patience through immersion in words and different worlds.

Art nurtures focus and concentration with optimism for life, promotes profound thinking with distinctive ideas, and also nurtures emotional intelligence by alleviating stress, Raageshwari says.

Another interesting strategy she suggests is the oxygen mask therapy or the act of prioritising oneself.

Some of its benefits are "doing something for ourselves that we love recharges us; it helps silence the inner critic as the more we love ourselves, the more we show compassion; it helps us be more present, effective and focused in all our relationships".