Reflecting can help you overcome break-ups!

Scientists have found an unexpected way to recover from a break-up: dwelling on it!
Repeatedly reflecting on a break-up or discussing it with friends or even research experts actually speeds up emotional recovery, new research suggests.
"Breakups are ubiquitous - most adults have experienced at least one in their life - and are typically very distressing," said Grace Larson from Northwestern University.
After studying divorce and breakups for years using longitudinal, multi-method designs, Larson and her then-adviser David Sbarra of the University of Arizona wanted to study whether these research techniques on their own were affecting participants.
"At first glance, it might seem like repeatedly reminding participants that they had just broken up - and asking them to describe the breakup over and over - might delay recovery," she said.

Researchers split participants into two conditions: with one group, using a suite of methods for observing coping and emotions (such as questionnaires, psychophysiological measurements like heart rate monitoring, an an interview-like task); and with the second group, only asking them to complete initial and final questionnaires.

All the participants had experienced a non-marital breakup within the previous 6 months.
Those who completed the more intensive set of tasks and measures four times over 9 weeks had better overall recovery from their breakups.
The researchers specifically looked at "self-concept reorganisation," the process of seeing and defining yourself separate from your ex and from the relationship.

Asking the participants to reflect on their relationships helped the participants "build a stronger sense of who they were as single people," Larson said.
The researchers do not yet know exactly which aspects of the study caused these changes but they suspect it relates to participants thinking about their breakups from a distanced perspective.
"It might be simply the effect of repeatedly reflecting on one's experience and crafting a narrative - especially a narrative that includes the part of the story where one recovers," Larson added.
The study was published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.