'Worrisome if masculinity equated with violence against women'

"Why should a woman be forced to be like a man to protect herself?" This question was posed by writer Shobhaa De as she sought to examine the connection between masculinity and violence against women during a session at the Jaipur Literature Festival here.
"The worrying aspect of redefining masculinity in the social milieu is equating masculinity, or the display of masculinity, with violence against women and that is something we need to be much concerned about," De said.
Participating in the session, 'Dance like a Man: Refiguring Masculinity', De spoke on the connection between masculinity and violence against women and called upon society to address the serious aspects in this regard.

"We need to change the mindset. What we feel about masculinity and femininity should be felt within. One needs to get an internal transformation," she said.
Speaking on the openness among today's youth, De said that, unlike the earlier generations, they are no longer preoccupied with stereotypes and expressed happiness that they were coming forward to redefine their own place in society.
"I don't think a boy today would think twice about talking of an alternative way of life or saying that 'I want to try something which society does not approve'," she said. A boy today would not hesitate to tell his parents that he was gay, she felt.

"I think that much more acceptance is being pushed and driven by the young today. They are the ones who are telling society and the community that it is our time and we will decide and choose," she said.

"These people are daring to break rules because they want to be happy within," she said while discussing how masculine behaviour was being challenged and reinterpreted.
De, known for her feminist writings, said it is seen that youths follow the dance moves of Salman Khan or Shah Rukh Khan at occasions like weddings and advised them to be themselves and share their joy in any manner which suits them, irrespective of the gender.

Among other panelists at the session moderated by Ashok Ferry were writers Mukul Deva and Christos Tsiolkas.
Christos Tsiolkas insisted that only education can bridge the gap between the masculine and feminine.
"In order to erase the divide between masculinity and femininity, education needs to get stronger and deep-rooted.
We need to have education in schools as well as at the home," he said.