 "Why New Year's resolutions fail, and how to make them actually stick")
Every January, we repeat the ritual. We wake up on January 1 feeling oddly powerful. This is the year, we tell ourselves. We will eat better, move more, sleep on time, drink less, scroll less, and somehow become a calmer, fitter, more organised version of ourselves.
And then, by mid-February, or even earlier, the resolution begins to fade, along with the daily journalling and the optimism.
According to mental health experts, your resolution did not fail because you are weak or lazy. It failed because it was built on a misunderstanding of how the human brain actually works.
So how do you make resolutions you can actually follow?
“Let’s get this out of the way first: motivation was never designed to last,” says Aastha Dwivedi, consultant clinical psychologist at Tulasi Healthcare, Gurugram. “Motivation is a short-term biological state driven by novelty and dopamine.”
In the first few weeks, the brain feels energised and committed. But as work stress, poor sleep and decision fatigue set in, motivation predictably drops. This is basic neurobiology.
Delhi-based Dr Astik Joshi, child and adolescent psychiatrist, adds that for some people, neurotransmitter imbalances can further blunt motivation early on. Waiting to “feel like it” simply does not work.
“Doing the required action, without chasing rewards or inspiration, is the real backbone of a successful resolution,” he says.
How do habits actually form in the brain, and how long does it take?
Forget the viral “21-day habit” myth. That number has no scientific basis.
Habits form when repeated actions create neurological pathways, known as habit loops, where control slowly shifts from the effortful thinking brain to automatic systems. According to Dwivedi, this process usually takes six to eight weeks just to feel easier, and three to six months before a behaviour becomes truly automatic.
Dr Joshi points out that neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire itself, varies from person to person. Age, stress, sleep and mental health all influence how quickly habits stick.
The key mistake is expecting effortlessness too soon and quitting when it does not arrive.
Why do outcome-based goals fail while process-based goals succeed?
“Lose ten kilograms.”
“Get fit.”
“Be healthier.”
“Read one book every week.”
They sound motivating, but they are also why many resolutions collapse.
Outcome-based goals focus on results that are only partly in your control. Process-based goals, on the other hand, focus on repeatable actions such as walking after dinner, eating meals at fixed times, or limiting alcohol on weekdays.
“When the process is consistent, outcomes follow naturally,” says Dwivedi. When the process is ignored, outcomes rarely last.
Dr Joshi notes that while process goals demand discipline, they create far more stable neurological pathways than chasing outcomes alone.
Experts also stress the role of surroundings, routines and social cues. Fixing sleep–wake timings, removing triggers, linking habits to existing routines, or placing friction in front of unhealthy behaviours all make change more sustainable.
Why does going all-in usually backfire?
Going all-in feels heroic. It is also biologically hostile.
Sudden, rigid changes trigger stress responses, increase fatigue and heighten emotional reactivity. The brain then seeks comfort and familiarity, which often looks like relapse.
“Slow, efficient daily actions build stronger neurological foundations than drastic methods,” says Dr Joshi.
Clinically, psychologists recommend changes that are small enough to be done even on your worst, most exhausting day. If a habit cannot survive a bad day, it will not survive a year.
Why is the difference between a lapse and a relapse crucial?
Missing one day is a lapse. Giving up entirely is a relapse.
According to both experts, biologically, a single missed day has almost no impact. The real damage comes from self-criticism and all-or-nothing thinking.
The rule experts swear by is simple: never miss twice. Resume at the next opportunity, without guilt, punishment or dramatic self-talk.
If you make just one resolution this year, what should it be?
Both experts converge on one answer: Fix your sleep.
Protecting sleep and maintaining a consistent wake-up time improves emotional regulation, hormonal balance, decision-making, physical health and motivation at the same time.
Dr Joshi recommends, “Start the year by identifying the biggest barriers to your physical and mental health, and commit to removing them by year-end. Sustainable change is not about reinventing yourself on January 1. It is about designing small, repeatable behaviours that respect your brain, biology, identity and environment.”