I am a girl... and I stand up in the face of fear

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I am a 24 year old girl. A carefree, fun loving, ambitious Mumbai girl - a girl who loves her freedom and enjoys her late-nights.

I have heard about the recent Mumbai gang-rape and read multiple reports of the ones that have happened before. And yes, fear has set in - fear for the loss of my independence.

Another rape. Another attack on a woman and her dignity. Another violation of basic humanity. Another protest. Another peace march… It's the sequence of events for the next few days. And in the middle of all this, I will lose my freedom to live my life the way I would like to.

Every rape in this country is the inception of a very long blame-game. Men are blamed for their lack of sexual control, women

are blamed for provoking voyeurism; cops are blamed for their inefficiency in maintaining a safe city; and the justice system for their lack for urgency.

I have my own list of blames.

I blame myself, you and society in itself. I blame each one of us for our misplaced idea of culture and tradition. I blame us for letting fear win over the decisions of our hearts and minds. I blame us for every rape, every act of violence and injustice towards women. I blame us for paving the way to a vicious mindset, that has now become our reality.

Why are women in need of constant protection? Why is it risky for them to go on a late night walk if they please? Why does every rape fill us first with fear, until rage sets in, to be engulfed by fear once again?

It's time to stop and think where we are going wrong. It's not the cops or politicians who are at complete fault, while the justice system in India is destined to run slow, and our attempts to change it will be just as slow. Everyone eventually have their own lives to go back to.

So, set all these futile blames aside and look within yourself.

Do you think a woman is strong? Do you think a woman is capable of protecting herself? Would you, as a man mess with a woman if you knew she could break a bone or two? As a parent, do you tell your daughters to be careful, or do you build their belief and self-confidence? As a brother, do you watch over your sisters constantly, or do you encourage them to explore the world on their own?

Your answers to these questions is the crux of the problem. Women have always been projected as prospective victims, if not actual ones. Women can always be over-powered, and hence you look out for them. Independent, ambitious or strong, a woman always needs a male by her side - or at least that’s the idea society lives with.

The time to break these notions has come. Stand up and respect a woman for her capabilities. Stand up and look your fears in the eyes. Stand up and fight. You won’t succeed at the first go - that would be too ideal. You’ll fall, you will earn your own share of scars and bruises - but wear them with pride, because they will be your final medals of victory.

Stand up - because women need to be freed from the clutches of fear!

Stand up, just like I will...

Am I scared? Will I reconsider my freedom and lifestyle, and its possible impact on my safety? Will I look over my shoulder in a strange vicinity, as I feel everyone’s eyes on me?

My answer: NO!

I am a girl, but that doesn’t make me weak. I may not be physically capable of fighting off five men and that does scare me, but I won’t let that fear run my life and my decisions.