Keeping up appearances

For a country that is constantly being touted as the youngest in the world, India has a strangely ageing population. Friends and acquaintances, who till recently boasted of raven-haired crowns, are revealing more salt than pepper in their hair. Streaks of white are becoming pandemic even among the middle-aged. Silver seems the preferred choice for the glitterati in this period of enforced closures. If coronavirus has sealed the fate of air-kissing socialites — mwah! mwah! will now go the way of history — no one appears concerned any more about how they look while engaging with their peers on WhatsApp video calls. The effort of dressing up is more than most can muster. From lip gloss to mascara, everyone seems to be taking a break from the demands of looking good.

Sarla, who came surreptitiously with her husband the other day to pick up a basket of vegetables we’d saved for them — we maintained social distance while drinking beer in our respective cars — was almost unrecognisable, her hair resembling a badger’s coat. From neighbours on balconies to acquaintances headed for their constitutionals in the park, no one seems concerned any longer about covering up their white mane. Everywhere, women (and some men) can be seen greying — using the extended break from their daily routines to let nature run its course. When the lockdown is lifted, several professionals will return to work with a shock of white hair; more friends will get together for dinner exclaiming over each other’s wisdom highlights. Me? Having become wise long years ago, it’s a haircut I’m longing for, my hair resembling Einstein’s flowing locks on a particularly windy day. 

Now that the initial enthusiasm of posting one’s yoga and exercise routines over video has abated, the ennui of staying home is setting in. Healthy eating is out, replaced by anxiety-induced fatty fried foods. After all, a salad is more difficult to assemble than popping a heat-and-eat packet in the microwave. Weighing machines are being kicked under the bed as belly buttons pop. There’s nothing better than a snack between meals; nothing more exciting than a bite between snacks. What’s one to do on evenings that stretch long if not to drink? When the news gets too morbid, it’s time to switch to movies instead, which are better with a bowl of chips, a plate of cheese. 

Be glad you didn’t throw out the bundle of low-cost clothes you bought at a night market in Bangkok but (thankfully) never got around to gifting for fear of being thought a cheapskate. Now’s the time to air them — and, oh surprise — suddenly everyone’s wearing them. Comfort clothing has replaced fast fashion and may even be here to stay if work from home becomes the norm, or even a flexible option in the future. Never worn, loose Bali shirts may well become the corporate choice for men; women’s heels could go the way of the dodo.

Meanwhile, still bothered about ap­pearances, I’m having a tough time trying to manage my pearly hair grown too long to manage tidily. My son has volunteered to have a go — but not with scissors, he says. Towards which task he’s plugged in his electric razor to ready for the shearing. If I go off video calls, put it down to a cut gone wrong.