Sunanda K Datta-Ray: Worth every pound and penny?

Just like the issue standing in the way of the proposed acquisition of 99p Stores by Poundland, the Ed Miliband-David Cameron divide is slight but significant

The Battle of the Penny is raging in those parts of London where the action is. It has nothing to do with the old-fashioned phrase "spending a penny" since, thanks to inflation, public lavatories nowadays charge a great deal more. Nor does it concern either those garish 19th century novels known as "penny dreadfuls" or the "penny plain, twopence coloured" water transfers that have become obsolete in Britain although Calcutta's ting-ting wallahs probably still sell them to schoolchildren. But millions of Britons are waiting with bated breath for the outcome of Poundland's bid to acquire 99p Stores that the government's Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) is scrutinising for signs of monopoly control.

Will soap, now priced at a pound, drop by a penny in the 800 shops the merger will create? Or will 99p dusters suddenly cost a pound? The outcome could be as significant as stricken Bosworth Field where Henry Tudor defeated Richard III, whose remains were recently reburied with great pomp in Leicester. It affects the Briton's ancient right to get the best bargains that are not even going. If that isn't enshrined in Magna Carta, it's only because the rebellious barons seized what they wanted without haggling.

True, one hears no echo of the contest in Mayfair or Belgravia. Chelsea and Kensington are shrouded in silence. But, then, native Brits have fled these fashionable enclaves that are the boltholes of the Arab sheikhs and Chinese princelings who are buying up Britain bit by bit. But war has been declared in Brick Lane and Southall where a different kind of immigrant is called the New Briton. The clash of arms and shrill battle cries rend the tranquillity of Brent and Enfield where the foreign-born are in a majority.

Not that the Battle of the Penny concerns the great immigration debate that sprinkles a little spice on the lacklustre run-up to Britain's May 7 parliamentary election. Even Nigel Farage, the UK Independence Party leader, doesn't deny black, brown or yellow settlers, whether Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist, the right to the best bargain going. Since discrimination has been outlawed, native-born white Christians are also entitled to the privilege. I don't mean only the right to queue, push, shove and fight over nylons and bed sheets in the Oxford Street supermarkets that religiously put up prices every Christmas and Easter so that they can be "reduced". I mean discount chains such as Poundland, 99p Stores and others.

That matters more than whether come May 7, David Cameron or Ed Miliband is able to bribe, bully, coax or cajole smaller parties into the next coalition. Nobly proclaiming that "it is only when working people succeed that Britain succeeds" Miliband doesn't know whether Poundland or 99p Stores is the real cloth cap working man's shop that will shore up his "Red Ed" reputation and help him live down the unfair "Raunchy Ed" slurs that spread after revelations of his pre-marital amours. The Scottish National Party's Nicola Sturgeon won't decide until she is assured England won't pocket the extra penny. Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats wants to know if his support is worth more than a penny. Farage can't decide whether the foreign hand is secretly at work in Poundland or 99p Stores.

Cameron's is the most agonising dilemma. Remembering St Margaret who denounced the Soviets as capitalists and praised capitalists as true communists, he insists his Tories are "the party of the working people." But a recent letter in a newspaper complained that someone who declares "Vote for me, I'm very well off" can't convince the "low paid, unemployed, pensioners and the working classes" that he would give his kingdom for a penny. There's nothing from either Poundland or 99p Stores in the expensively fitted kitchen at home where he is seen helping his wife in a series of campaign pictures intended to project a picture of homely domesticity.

Poundland is riding high this week. An 11.4 per cent rise in sales has increased takings to more than £1 billion. "Poundland has proved if you look after your pennies the pounds look after themselves" says a market analyst. At this rate, the cheap shop might take over the executive jets troubled Tesco finds too expensive to run. The poor have always yielded rich dividends. The CMA hopes to ensure they aren't too rich. That could depend partly on whether the merged shops sell everything for 99p or a pound. That's the Miliband-Cameron divide, slight but significant.