Of Hawkes And Handsaws

Somebody lock Ethan Hawke in a closet and throw away the key. The man is becoming a public menace. First, as the angst-ridden artist 'Finnegan Bell' in Alfonso Cuaron's 1998 screen adaptation of Dickens' Great Expectations, he destroyed the wonderful character of Pip. Now he's all set to loose his considerable lack of talent upon Hamlet, that most complex of creatures, in Michael Almereyda's 2000 c.e. adaptation of Shakespeare.

I have no quarrel with Hollywood stars playing Shakespearean roles _ isn't Laurence Olivier's 1948 version the perfect template of all on-screen Shakespeare? Even Mel Gibson did a pretty good job as Hamlet in Franco Zeffirelli's 1990 film version. At least the man acted with some flair and depth, and at least he's easy on the eye.

But put Ethan Hawke's track record of dreary emoting with a script set in modern-day Manhattan, and you're playing with fire. It behooves everyone to withhold judgement until May 12, when Miramax Films releases Hamlet, especially since several critics at the Sundance Film Festival (where the film premiered) thought it had some worth.

But the evidence of hearsay mounteth, and it mounteth not in favour. The following are things one will have to swallow to enjoy Almereyda's Hamlet:

The scene is modern New York, complete with laptops and cell-phones.

Denmark is Denmark Co., a high-powered production house, of which Claudius (Kule MacLachlan) is CEO.

Hamlet is a film student.

Ophelia is a photographer.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are a species of frat-boy duo.

The ghost of Hamlet (Sam Shepherd) at one point disappears into a Pepsi vending machine.

The 'To be or not to be' soliloquy is delivered in a BlockBuster Video store.

Bill Murray is cast as Polonius.

Ethan Hawke is cast as Hamlet.

I'm hoping to be proven wrong. I'm hoping that the spirit of the bard will shine through the dialogue, which remains more or less intact. When Hamlet comes to the Indian screen, I'll be first in line for tickets. But with a pit of fear in my stomach.