They wait on you, then blog

BLOG.COM

You never know what a waiter may be noting down.

Of late, I've been treating waiters with new respect. If I'm dilly-dallying over what to order and the man with the little notepad is standing by the table looking a tad impatient, I give him not the royal ignore but an apologetic smile, and ask him to come back in a minute or three. One never knows what he might be noting about me in that little book of his.

I think the newfound paranoia has to do with this immensely readable blog called Waiter Rant (http://waiterrant.net/), wherein an anonymous waiter working in an unnamed restaurant in New York writes with considerable humour and clarity about the daily vagaries of his job.

The content includes anything from observations on first-time daters ("After a few minutes, it becomes obvious the polite time limit regarding who's gonna offer to pay has expired.

A look of apprehension crosses the girl's face. The guy starts fidgeting") to stories about bored-looking young women who go out with older men, philosophical musings about yuppie customers who don't like to see the restaurant staff use the same toilet they do, and an account of a 15-minute break spent watching life go by on the sidewalk. And it manages to be smart and snappy all the way through.

Given the nature of blogging - and the opportunities it affords to people who fancy themselves as diarists but whose actual jobs don't involve writing - this sort of thing was waiting to happen. The Internet allows anyone to be a writer, and if you think about it a waiter in an NYC restaurant must witness plenty of very interesting things every day. But Waiter Rant works not just because of the concept but because our anonymous host is a writer with panache. He has a fine sense of humour and a nifty turn of phrase (and of course you do wonder whether he really is a waiter at all, or just another wannabe fiction writer practicing online).

Waiter Rant isn't a new site - it began two years ago - but it has been steadily growing in popularity. It's also spawned a mini-revolution of sorts: there are now quite a few such blogs run by servers (which is a bit confusing if you consider that, technically speaking, all blogs are run by "servers" anyway).

Predictably, most of them aren't a patch on the original, but you might want to check out Bitter Waitress ( http://www.bitterwaitress.net/serendipity/), Red Lobster Hates its Employees (http://rlserver.blogspot.com/) and Insane Waiter ( http://allprowaiter.blogspot.com/), all of which have varying degrees of merit.

Want some tipping tips? "If you have to think of us as people, it's hard to stiff us," says Bitter Waitress. "Here's a trick - ask diners for their business card before you end the meal, and watch your tip go up."

And the Red Lobster blogger suggests advance tipping: "If your bill is going to be $100, give the server the 15 per cent up front. Say this is for the service you are going to provide us. We'll give you more at the end if you have earned it." Hmm, I'll keep that in mind. Or maybe not.