Who lives a good single life? Study shows why some flourish, others struggle

A new study finds that autonomy, secure attachment and a sense of choice, not casual sex, shape whether single people flourish or struggle

Is being single a setback, or a secret advantage? For many, being single is still seen as something incomplete or a setback, but researchers say this assumption is far from reality.

 

A new study suggests that the quality of singlehood depends less on the relationship status and more on psychological factors. The study titled Who Lives a Good Single Life? From Basic Need Satisfaction to Attachment, Sociosexuality, and Reasons for Being Single, published in the journal Personal Relationship, analysed data from nearly 1,000 adults across two age groups and found that single people who feel autonomous, are capable and socially connected report higher life satisfaction and fewer depressive symptoms. They also found that having a secure attachment style and viewing singlehood as a personal choice are important predictors of well-being.

What makes a good single life?

The researchers from the Department of Psychology, Syracuse University, New York, highlight that the strongest and most consistent predictor of a good single life was whether a person’s basic psychological needs are met.

 

The researchers drew on Self-Determination Theory, which proposes that three core needs underpin well-being:

• autonomy (feeling in control of your life)
• competence (feeling capable and effective)
• and relatedness (feeling connected to others)

Across both older long-term singles and younger university students, those who felt autonomous, capable and socially connected reported:

• Higher life satisfaction
• Greater satisfaction with their single status
• Fewer depressive symptoms

In other words, thriving in singlehood rests on the same psychological foundations as thriving in general. A partner is not the only route to belonging or meaning. Friends, family, hobbies, and purposeful work can satisfy those needs too.

How does attachment style affect singlehood?

The researchers studied attachment anxiety, or the fear of rejection and craving reassurance, and attachment avoidance, which refers to discomfort one feels with intimacy, among the participants. They found that attachment anxiety consistently predicted more depressive symptoms, even after accounting for basic psychological needs. It also predicted lower satisfaction with singlehood.

 

This suggests that people who intensely fear abandonment may find singlehood especially distressing, not necessarily because they are single, but because their internal relationship blueprint makes the absence of a partner feel threatening.

 

Attachment avoidance showed a more complex pattern. It was linked to lower life satisfaction in simple correlations, but did not strongly predict singlehood satisfaction once other factors were considered.

 

The study authors concluded that feeling secure in close relationships, even when you are not in one, appears to be protective. 

Is casual sex linked to happiness in singlehood?

The researchers tested whether sociosexuality, or the openness to uncommitted sexual experiences, would explain well-being.

 

The hypothesis that singles who enjoy casual sex feel more satisfied was only partly true as once basic needs and attachment were accounted for, sociosexuality did not significantly predict life satisfaction or depressive symptoms.

 

In other words, sexual freedom alone does not appear to be the engine of a good single life. Psychological security and autonomy matter far more.

Does it matter why someone is single?

The study found that how people interpret their singlehood shapes their mental health.

 

Those who endorsed value-based reasons, such as wanting freedom and independence, or waiting for the right partner, reported higher life satisfaction and greater satisfaction with their single status.

 

By contrast, those who felt single due to constraints such as lingering grief from a previous relationship, fear of getting hurt, or perceived personal barriers reported more depressive symptoms.

 

This suggests that singlehood is experienced very differently depending on whether it feels chosen or imposed.

 

The researchers argue that “choice” is not a simple yes-or-no category and is layered. A person may not want to be single in general, yet still feel they are choosing not to settle for the wrong partner.

What does this mean for single people today?

The findings challenge the persistent narrative that singlehood is inherently deficient.

 

The researchers conclude that while meeting basic psychological needs forms the foundation of well-being, factors such as feeling secure in close relationships and genuinely valuing one’s independence further shape how satisfying single life feels.

 

In short, a good single life is not about filling a romantic gap. It is about feeling autonomous, capable, connected, and secure within oneself.