Shekhar Gupta: The Shankaracharyas of the Liberal Peeth
Liberalism is to not set rules for others and insist they be followed. If you do, then you're an Ayatollah, pontiff or Shankaracharya
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Illustration by Binay Sinha
It would probably have been more apt if I had headlined this the Ayatollahs or Archbishops of the Liberal Pulpit. Because, for all the sermons they deliver, the Shankaracharyas do not issue fatwas or encyclical bulls. But you have to be careful these days. If I had done so, I’d risk being targeted by both, the conservatives of these faiths and the “liberals”, equally for profiling minorities. Better, therefore, to mess with my own fellow Hindus.
This argument, though, isn’t about any of these great faiths. I’m addressing the latest religion to emerge in the history of humankind (see, I didn’t say mankind): The Order of Liberalism. It’s new, so it is yet to develop a diversity of strains. It won’t tolerate any deviation from its own Holy Book. No Shia/Sunni, no Catholic/Protestant, no Vaishnavite/Shaivite. If you belong to my Peeth (or order), you have to conform fully. There are no exceptions here, no exemptions, no straying, not even a weekend’s furlough. You are either with us, or against us. Now, we’ve heard that line before, from George Bush Jr, and he was no liberal.
I might ask though: How can you be liberal and yet have a vacuum-packed book of rules, behaviour and speech?
Nevertheless, let me first try summing up the minimum code of conduct you set for the rest. The first is, be secular on my terms, so dump your religiosity and gods. Second, accept free-market, globalisation and deregulation are toxic, neo-liberal abominations. Accept the state as your holiest deity and just help us make it perfect. Say that all corporates are thieves and don’t ask me who, if not corporates and robber barons, funds the holiest foundations, Ford, Rockefeller, Bill & Melinda Gates, MacArthur, Inlaks, Tata that sensibly funds me in turn. None of your neo-liberal business.
You must also oppose all dams, power generation, mining and pesticides. Accept Trump is the devil elected by stupid American Red Necks, but Putin and Xi Jinping may be not so. At least you can’t blame their people for installing them. Government is great but NGOs better, science is dangerous especially when controlled by the private sector, and the greatest threat to humanity is genetically modified foods. Any deviation, any violation of this Shariat, and you are an illiberal pig in the pay of evil corporates and Amit Shah, or both. The short message: Be liberal, do it my way. Just, exactly as I say.
This argument, though, isn’t about any of these great faiths. I’m addressing the latest religion to emerge in the history of humankind (see, I didn’t say mankind): The Order of Liberalism. It’s new, so it is yet to develop a diversity of strains. It won’t tolerate any deviation from its own Holy Book. No Shia/Sunni, no Catholic/Protestant, no Vaishnavite/Shaivite. If you belong to my Peeth (or order), you have to conform fully. There are no exceptions here, no exemptions, no straying, not even a weekend’s furlough. You are either with us, or against us. Now, we’ve heard that line before, from George Bush Jr, and he was no liberal.
I might ask though: How can you be liberal and yet have a vacuum-packed book of rules, behaviour and speech?
Nevertheless, let me first try summing up the minimum code of conduct you set for the rest. The first is, be secular on my terms, so dump your religiosity and gods. Second, accept free-market, globalisation and deregulation are toxic, neo-liberal abominations. Accept the state as your holiest deity and just help us make it perfect. Say that all corporates are thieves and don’t ask me who, if not corporates and robber barons, funds the holiest foundations, Ford, Rockefeller, Bill & Melinda Gates, MacArthur, Inlaks, Tata that sensibly funds me in turn. None of your neo-liberal business.
You must also oppose all dams, power generation, mining and pesticides. Accept Trump is the devil elected by stupid American Red Necks, but Putin and Xi Jinping may be not so. At least you can’t blame their people for installing them. Government is great but NGOs better, science is dangerous especially when controlled by the private sector, and the greatest threat to humanity is genetically modified foods. Any deviation, any violation of this Shariat, and you are an illiberal pig in the pay of evil corporates and Amit Shah, or both. The short message: Be liberal, do it my way. Just, exactly as I say.
Illustration by Binay Sinha
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