No mangalsutra, bindi? Judge asks woman why husband would be interested

While mediating a domestic violence case, a Pune judge asked a woman why her husband would be interested in her if she wasn't wearing a mangalsutra and sindoor

A bizarre exchange in a Pune district court has sparked outrage after a judge questioned a woman’s marital status simply because she wasn’t wearing a mangalsutra and bindi. The incident came to light when Ankur R Jahagirdar, a disputes lawyer from Pune, shared the episode in a viral LinkedIn post.

 

According to Jahagirdar, the judge was mediating a domestic violence case between a separated couple when he turned to the woman and said, “I can see that you are not wearing a mangalsutra and bindi. If you don’t behave like a married woman, why would your husband show any interest in you?”

 

 

This isn’t the first time a woman's lack of traditional symbols of marriage has been scrutinised in court. In 2022, the Madras High Court granted a man a divorce, ruling that his estranged wife's decision not to wear a mangalsutra amounted to “mental cruelty of the highest order.”

 

In the same viral post, Jahagirdar shared another incident from his own case, where a sessions judge advised a woman to be "flexible" during mediation. The judge’s comments seemed to downplay her maintenance demands, comparing men and women in relationships.

 

"If a woman is earning well, she will always look for a husband who earns more than her and will never settle for someone who earns less. However, if a man who earns well is looking to marry, he might even marry a maid who washes utensils in his house. Look how flexible men are. You should also show some flexibility. Don’t be so rigid,” the judge reportedly told Jahagirdar’s client.

 

The lawyer further expressed his frustration, stating that while such remarks are inappropriate, there is little recourse available to challenge them.

 

Deep-rooted bias in the system?

 

Calling these incidents "just the tip of the iceberg," he highlighted the troubling realities that women often face in courtrooms. 

 

“A lot more happens in sessions court that would shock the conscience of any rational person,” Jahagirdar wrote.

 

He further noted that society’s "baseline tolerance" for patriarchy is what allows such attitudes to persist. "The first rule of the patriarchy club is you do not talk about the patriarchy club," he added.