 "Why loneliness hits harder during Diwali, and how to cope with it")
Diwali is all about light, laughter, and family. Yet for many, it highlights what is missing: a partner, a parent, or simply a place to belong.
As the world celebrates togetherness, some quietly spend the festival scrolling through social media, revealing a side of Diwali that rarely shows up on Instagram.
According to Dr Praveen Gupta, chairman, Marengo Asia International Institute of Neuro & Spine (MAIINS), Marengo Asia Hospitals, Gurugram, what we often call “festive blues” is rooted in our brain’s expectation-reality gap.
“Festivals promise connection and joy that’s missing,” he explains. “When the brain anticipates reward and doesn’t receive it, it creates a larger prediction error, leading to emotional distress.”
In simpler terms, when what we see and what we feel do not match, the brain sounds the alarm.
Why singles and distant families feel left out
Humans are wired for belonging. Dr Gupta explains, “Festivals emphasise family units and rituals. Those outside these units experience a belongingness threat, which activates the same brain circuits as physical pain.”
In India, this is compounded by social expectations. Marriage and children are seen as “festival milestones". So being single or widowed is often perceived as a deviation from the norm.
“For many, rituals can also reawaken grief, the memory of a lost spouse, a parent, a relative, or a life that once was. This compounds loneliness,” says Dr Gupta. “And loneliness is not just an emotional state; chronic loneliness increases the risk of cognitive decline, cardiometabolic disorders, and even premature mortality.”
Social media makes this worse. Dr Gupta calls it “social comparison overload". “Passive viewing drives upward comparison, envy, and lower mood,” he says. “The constant exposure to others’ curated perfection leads to an unfair benchmark, making your own life feel less joyful than it actually is.”
This kind of digital comparison does not just affect the mind, it also disturbs sleep, eating, and other patterns. Over time, it disrupts circadian rhythm, the brain’s natural clock that governs energy, mood, and even immunity.
What are the warning signs that someone is struggling?
It’s easy to miss, especially during festivals when everyone assumes others are fine. But Dr Gupta points out some signs that someone is struggling with loneliness:
- Withdrawal from invites or last-minute cancellations
- Saying things like “You enjoy, I’ll manage”
- Sleep or appetite changes, irritability, or tearfulness
- Hopeless or self-critical statements
And more urgently: talk of self-harm, giving away possessions, or sudden calm after turmoil. These require immediate professional help or helpline contact. “Persistent holiday blues should never be dismissed,” he cautions.
How to deal with festive loneliness
It takes conscious effort. Dr Gupta emphasises active coping, not passive consumption.
“Schedule simple, valued activities,” he advises. “A walk, calling a friend, cooking, joining a community event, these are scientifically proven to reduce loneliness.”
He also recommends:
- Be an active participant, not a spectator. Volunteer, join your housing society’s Diwali decor team, or take part in local melas and food drives.
- Protect your routine. Sleep and meal regularity stabilise mood.
- Limit alcohol, caffeine, and sugar. These spike stress hormones.
- Avoid doom scrolling. Take an app detox or social media holiday.
- Small social gestures like sending voice notes or joining a short video call can create connections.
Dr Gupta recommends creating one anchor plan every day, “Even if your mood is low, do one small, structured thing like a morning walk with music, an evening art session, a video call. Do not wait to feel better to act; action improves mood.”
This festival of lights, take a moment to explore our Diwali specials — a blend of health wisdom, mindful indulgence, and practical festive hacks to keep your body (and mood) glowing long after the diyas fade.
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- Keep the little ones safe Diwali firecracker safety 101: How to keep kids safe this festive season
- Cracking the ‘green’ debate Green crackers: Are they really a cleaner, healthier and safer choice?
This content is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice.