From guilt to healing: How to rebuild a healthy relationship with food

From binge eating cycles to restrictive diets, eating disorders affect both body and mind. Doctors share how you can spot the signs, seek help and rebuild a healthy relationship with food

When food rules your day, it may signal deeper struggles

 

Do you sometimes eat more than you actually wanted, only to feel guilty and restrict food the next day? What many of us brush off as “dieting”, “stress eating” or a “struggling relationship” with food can sometimes be a sign of something as serious as an eating disorder.

 

According to Dr Kedar Tilwe, Consultant Psychiatrist at Fortis Hospital, Mulund, eating disorders are not just about food — they are about control, guilt and hidden struggles. Left unchecked, disorders like binge eating, bulimia, anorexia and restrictive eating can harm both body and mind.

How do you know it’s more than just overeating?

“Binge eating is not the same as having an extra slice of pizza after a late-night party,” explains Dr Bharesh Dedhia, Consultant, Intensive Care at P D Hinduja Hospital & MRC, Khar.

 

What makes it different? Cycles of overeating large amounts of food in a short time (often under two hours), followed by guilt, self-induced vomiting, fasting, or even misuse of laxatives. “This loss of control and repetitive cycle is what sets binge eating, or bulimia nervosa, apart,” says Dr Dedhia.

 

Left untreated, the fallout is not just emotional. From gastrointestinal problems, malnutrition and hormonal imbalances to heart rhythm disturbances and even muscle loss, the medical consequences can be severe and long-lasting.

What are the warning signs that shouldn’t be ignored?

Dr Tilwe points out red flags: 

• Unexplained weight loss of more than 15 per cent in six months 
• Avoiding meals in front of people 
• Purging after eating 
• Severe restriction of food 
• Constant anxiety about body image

“When eating patterns start interfering with your work life, relationships or health, that’s when you need professional help, not another crash diet,” he stresses.

Why do we fall into bingeing or starving in the first place?

It’s not just about willpower. Dr Tilwe explains that eating disorders often stem from a mix of biological, psychological and social factors.

 

Fear of weight gain, cultural beauty standards, stress or even lack of cooking skills can all feed into unhealthy patterns. Add the pressures of work life, long hours, skipped meals, social media comparisons and relationship struggles — and it is easy to see how the cycle begins.

What should you do if you suspect you’re struggling?

“The first step is to seek medical and psychological evaluation,” says Dr Tilwe. Severe cases may even need hospitalisation and continuous monitoring of heart, electrolytes and nutrition.

 

Recovery is rarely a DIY process. You’ll need a multidisciplinary team — psychiatrist, psychologist, physician, nutritionist and family support — to build a safe, sustainable plan.

Can structured eating help in recovery?

“Recovery depends on tailoring nutrition plans to each individual,” says Ms Rutu Dhodapkar, Deputy Manager, Dietetics, P D Hinduja Hospital & MRC, Khar.

 

Instead of rigid “good vs. bad” food rules, she suggests: 

• Balanced meals with whole grains, proteins (tofu, paneer, lentils), healthy fats (avocado, nuts, olive oil) and colourful fruits/vegetables 
• Mood-supporting foods like dark chocolate, oats with banana and fermented foods 
• Gentle swaps like roasted chana or murmura instead of processed snacks 

Structured eating, when guided by a professional, helps prevent relapse by stabilising blood sugar and mood — but it should never feel like punishment.

How do you resist the urge to binge, purge or restrict?

“It starts with knowing your triggers,” says Ms Sheena Sood, Consultant Psychologist at P D Hinduja Hospital & MRC, Khar. Triggers may be stress, loneliness, social media or even certain foods.

 

She suggests: 

• Limiting exposure to triggering content online 
• Practising mindfulness and journaling 
• Reframing food as nourishment, not control 
• Building body acceptance with professional support 

And remember, relapses happen. “It’s not failure,” she reassures. “It’s part of the journey, and with support, you can get back on track.”

What role does mental health play in recovery?

Eating disorders rarely exist in isolation. Depression, anxiety or trauma often sit beneath the surface. “Sometimes treating the trauma treats the eating disorder,” says Ms Sood. That’s why therapy is not optional — it is central.

How can you support someone without being controlling?

Loved ones mean well, but their “eat this, don’t eat that” advice can backfire. Instead, Ms Sood suggests:

• Educate yourself about eating disorders 
• Ask “How can I support you?” instead of enforcing rules 
• Be patient and encouraging, and seek professional help 

Can someone fully recover from an eating disorder?

Recovery looks different for everyone. Some may achieve complete remission, while others learn lifelong management. The key, says Dr Tilwe, is early diagnosis, supervised care and consistent support.

 

And yes, post-recovery weight fluctuations are normal. “Balance mental, emotional and physical health. Your body will change, and that’s okay,” reminds Ms Dhodapkar.

So, what can you do today?

• Don’t dismiss recurring binge or starvation cycles as “normal”. 
• Watch out for warning signs like purging, excessive weight loss or obsessive body image worries. 
• Seek professional help early — recovery is possible with medical, nutritional and psychological support. 
• Remember: food is not your enemy. It’s fuel, nourishment and care.

 

If you find yourself caught in the endless loop of overworking, overeating and self-criticism, know this — you don’t have to go through it alone. With the right support system and expert care, you can break free and rebuild a healthier, kinder relationship with food — and with yourself. 

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This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice.