Kishore Singh: Being good on Governance Day

Forgive me, Ma Smriti, for I have sinned. As head of the household, I had thought to set an example for the family, but the devil lured me with offers of mulled wine and turkey (actually chicken, showing a lack of respect for tradition, but let that pass). At first, I declined. I don't know the government's expectations from Good Governance Day, but I am sure it didn't include singing carols, swigging cocktails, exchanging gifts or having a good time.

In the absence of precedent, I resolved that the family members would each undertake one task on which to be ranked. My son's was to pay all pending bills online and balance the family accounts, but he complained that he had office files to clear. Yet he spent the day watching heathen Christmas films on television, for which I am to blame for having turned it into a family tradition in his impressionable years. Even though it was not his fault, I couldn't help but give him zero points. My daughter was tasked with cleaning out her wardrobe and putting away her summer clothes. Since she had previously undertaken it on her own, making no allowance for guided governance, I gave her no marks at all. My wife refused to cook a Governance meal, saying she had no idea how to bake a Governance cake, or pies, so she got a zero vote too. In the spirit of things, the dog shredded the cushions in the living room, but we weren't ranking him anyway.
 

I had decided to re-do the library books, which, you will agree, was a worthy task since it involved the use of a ladder, cleaning and dusting, categorising and aligning by size, subject and colour. But I plead guilty to sloth, since it seemed so much easier to delegate it to the cook's assistant for a little consideration. He completed the task with rather more enthusiasm than efficiency. For my troubles, I can't find the books I require any more, so rather than being rewarded, he earned himself a reprimand. The cleaning maid took the day off without notice, and the cook served fried eggs and bacon for breakfast when, I'm sure, the Governance menu would have been better served vegetarian.

The siren call of Christmas celebrations had preceded Governance Day through the previous week. We attended these pagan gatherings to spread the gospel of Governance, only to be overwhelmed with Christmas trees, presents and bonhomie. While the spirit was strong, the flesh was weak, so - begging forgiveness - we ate rather more rum cake than was entirely necessary while noting the licentious and wanton consumption of food and wine at these barbaric festivities.

And now, instead of being Good on Governance Day, I was proving to be Very Bad. Turning into Grinch when everyone is having a jolly time will require somewhat more schooling since infectious good cheer quickly goes viral. I scowled at the mulled wine, passed up on the pate, but was lulled into accepting a harmless drink, or five. Because there was no proclamation on food, I had two helpings of ham, but refused a third (a half-point for me?). The decorations seemed a bit much, but surely we'll have less of them by next year, when the rules for Governance Day would have been better established, having replaced all profane revelries. And I promise that the Singh family will not be found wanting in Governance credits, even if it might be somewhat lacking in the season's spirit.