When our son missed his red-eye from Mumbai to Delhi, he blamed it on the hotel for failing to wake him up when requested. When I insisted he had been negligent, he pointed out - rightly, I suppose - that my wife and I had missed our flight from Bengaluru only a day previously. His mother had suggested we were on a later flight, an error we discovered only when we reported at the counter several hours late. In both cases, the additional cost had to be borne by me for what was no fault of mine.Nor is this the only time we have been "delayed". While showing up for a wedding function an entire day late on account of an oversight might be unforgivable, we've been routinely lackadaisical about timings, often arriving after dinner has been served, and, worse, cleared away. Once, we showed up for lunch to find the original occupants had given way to another group, a fact we discovered only because instead of lunch we were served high tea. My wife shushed me up when I said we should leave, and

Kishore Singh: In the nick of time

Business Standard

Because I am in Mumbai as you read this, you should know I intend to treat myself to sabudana khichdi, misal pav and vada pav, even though I don't particularly care for such street food. I would have added pav bhaji to the list but my wife tells me it's Gujarati, not Maharashtrian. As for bhelpuri, that ghastly excrescence, let's just say I'll risk a trip to Arthur Road Jail rather than pollute my palate. Trishna is no longer the seafood haven it used to be, having morphed into tourist gentility, but I will make sure to order bombil fish fry in support of the local speciality. Now that Leopold's is de rigeur, you can bet I'll stop by for a beer, even if I have to stand in queue to get in. I might even opt for a Marathi film, provided one is playing at prime time.Leaving for the airport in Delhi, the children begged me not to go to Mumbai, now that having a sense of humour, if not banned, is at least likely to get you into trouble. "Not Bombay, no," I assured them, only to be told to pr

Kishore Singh: Food for thought in Mumbai

The theory that families or partners influence each other is seductive, but more often their styles are likely to be too dissimilar to bear this out

It's all relative

Over the last year, my son's "girl" friends have come under closer scrutiny than before as potential soulmates and the clan's future daughter-in-law

Kishore Singh: Matchmaking and all that

Money-making is so institutionalised in America that our guide on a luxury cruise tour of West Palm Beach sounded like a real-estate agent. The tour, past celebrity and billionaire homes, had him gush on about their values, and though he joked about those available for sale "for 27 million dollars only, folks", we wondered whether he was collecting realty commissions on the side. The beach houses came with private jetties, swimming pools, three-side Atlantic views that were ideal as "alimony for wives", he teased, "even though it's the mistresses who usually get them".We would have been impressed if it wasn't for a doughty 70-plus-year-old who looked on as if she'd swallowed a nasty pill. "I'm from the West Coast, darling," she told my wife, "where there's more space, less residences," dismissing the miles of million-dollar villas as "too crowded". "I'm just back from China," she continued, "where people are like flies." "We're from here," my wife hastily assured her - because, of cour

Kishore Singh: From chaotic Asia to idyllic Florida

Gerstein's global popularity is linked with his abstinence from political art, resulting in a refreshing escapist body of works that celebrates humanity

A fantastical way of looking

If you haven't seen a parade in New York, "you ain't seen nothing yet", as its natives like to say. A previous visit to the Big Apple had coincided with Halloween and its fantastical display of costumes and make-up, and now here was St Patrick's Day being commemorated with everyone in the city turning up in green, while sidewalk entrepreneurs made quick profits from the sale of beer stored in prams even as blocked roads played havoc with traffic. New Yorkers like to make a production of everything, so Batman turned up in a green bowler hat, the NYPD bagpiper bands were preceded by Harlequin performers, and darned if everyone wasn't partying on a day when we were working.But that was nothing compared to the masked camaraderie we were promised when a colleague recommended tickets for a show called Sleep No More in lieu of a more conventional Broadway musical, and in an astonishing lack of judgement, a dozen of us queued up on an icy pavement to gain entry into what was pledged as a lifet

Kishore Singh: The New York experience

We had requested an upgrade on Air India's 15-hour haul from New Delhi to New York, but the carrier was flying a full load

Kishore Singh: En route NYC: Have a sane flight

Sher-Gil's self-portraits show her as self-aware of herself as both a person and an artist, and they reflect her radiance and beauty, something she never shied away from

A national treasure

When a marketing consultant who can call the shots with a snap of her lovely fingers, ups and decides to relocate to Goa, you have to sit and up and wonder what it is about the place that is stealing all our friends away from Delhi

Kishore Singh: Smells like Goan spirit

Without their knowing it, in the days leading up to the Budget, the chattering classes in New Delhi were the subject of my secret research project that aims at generating new tax income and plugging the fiscal deficit. I've been sending feelers to the mandarins of the finance ministry, but so far they have snubbed me, which is why I am making the results of my 'Make in India' Budget public.Cuss words tax: Why not unleash the fiscal police where the moral police has been making hay? Every time someone says "haramzade", "Bombay", or "Sonia Gandhi", you can levy a hefty fine, payable instantly, or punishable by forcible eviction from their homes, thereby allowing the government to build a land bank for its bullet trains. That's the good that comes from thinking out-of-the-box. The only exception will be taking Modi's name, which will earn a rebate the more times you chant it.Gay tax: The government works in mysterious ways, so here's how it can make capital from Section 377. By taxing gay

Kishore Singh: My 'Make in India' Budget

If anyone can claim to be an inheritor of the "Santiniketan" tradition, it might well be Mrinalini Mukherjee

Spritely wraiths

When my uncle married a wife much younger than him, he saddled us with an aunt far younger than my wife. This created problems for my wife who refused to address anyone "less experienced" than her with an honorific, settling instead for a condescending "My dear" to her face and "Whatshername" behind it. Though Whatshername didn't live in Delhi, she made up for it with a career that frequently made family breaking news. The cherry on the icing was my aunt's entrepreneurial venture, a non-government organisation (NGO) that she founded to court, in my mother's avuncular opinion, "the famous and flighty"."She's just a social climber," my wife noted, "wanting to get close to those in power." When my wife said this, she was going out to an NGO function to honour a socialite for being "a good wife and mother", finding no other qualification for the jetsetter whose husband was an important member of the government. "Really?" I'd commented, when the glamorous card that could have constituted th

Kishore Singh: The 'good' wife

Already, weddings under planning in Delhi are being shifted to Gurgaon and Noida, hitherto considered the badlands of partydom, for fear of Aam Aadmi reprisals

Kishore Singh: Delhi's French Revolution

Only a few billionaires collect art with understanding, or passion. But it is only a matter of time before mediocrity of opinion in art is replaced by informed opinion

Let art define your wealth

My wife has arranged a mohalla sabha today, even though political activity in the capital is banned as it queues up to cast its vote

Kishore Singh: Cooking up a political storm

A few days ago, for reasons best known to her, my wife stopped talking to me. This was accompanied by other acts of omission. "Can I have a cup of tea?" I'd ask her, glancing through the morning papers. Instead of pouring me a cup, she'd point at the teapot. I'd get up, pour myself a cup, and ask her if she'd like one too. Instead of replying, she'd summon the cook. "Tell sahib I have had my tea, thank you," she'd instruct me.So we spoke through the day, and the next. "Ask him if we're going to the party tonight," she asked my son to check with me. "Ask sahib when he can send me the car," she told the driver. "Tell him not to wear the brown jacket, it makes him look old," she told my daughter. "A few business friends want to come home," I said, "is it okay?" "Tell him it's his home," she told the staff, "but he might be more comfortable entertaining people I don't know in a restaurant."She'd be on the phone with her friends, but communication between us was restricted to gestures and p

Kishore Singh: Subject to silent treatment

The exhibition looked at Clark's role as patron, collector and art historian and how he helped shape the course of British art

Nurturing the collector

In all the years we have been married, my wife has had no occasion to be alone at night, whether by design or default. Mostly, we are out till late - my wife enjoys a large circle of 'friends' - else we have people over till the wee hours of the morning. Familiar sounds as I write into the night - the startling whirr of a refrigerator, the slow drip of a tap, the tick-tock of the kitchen clock, doors sighing and breathing, the tap of a branch against a window - are alien to her. On our few quiet evenings, she prefers sleep over what relationship gurus call "quality time".Which is why she panicked when I found myself pulling an all-nighter at work. This would not have been a problem if our son had not decided that, having won a court case, a celebration was in order - or so he said. He might equally have been dating a new friend. He went off on this noble mission straight from office. Our daughter had planned a hookah evening with her friends and was not to be deterred, even though the

Kishore Singh: Don't be afraid of the dark

Winter rain is a premonition of ominous things. It was a day when the cook received a call from his wife to say he needed to sort out some nasty stuff between his mother and her, so there was no breakfast. His assistant, the usually perky lad who rises early to take the dog for a walk, refused to leave his room for some unfathomable reason - though maybe it was just the cold - so I got wet and the bedraggled pooch jumped into my wife's bed, causing her to shriek and order me to "immediately" change the bed linen. My son said he'd overspent on his sports bike and did not enjoy debt, so could I extend him credit? It seems no one put the geyser on, so I emerged blue from the shower. Which is when the driver called to say he wasn't coming either, and my daughter complained that she had a meeting but couldn't drive with boots on, as a result I had to cancel an appointment and drop her off first before heading for work.Did I mention I hate driving in the rain? The car fogged up because it wa

Kishore Singh: Winter rain, hallelujah!

With the exception of collectives like Khoj, there seems to be no space for artists to address concerns not just about their work but everything else that has an impact on it

Kishore Singh

Kishore Singh

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