At a press conference recently someone asked: "Just what exactly is a straight whisky?" Before the very knowledgeable expert who had come all the way from Kentucky could enlighten anybody a wag remarked, "Any whisky that isnt gay." It got a good laugh and also underscored the fact that we arent too finicky when it comes to imbibing firewater. After all, whisky is either Scotch or Indian made foreign liquor right?
So here we go with a raft of useless information. It wont help your taste buds, but it will help you pass muster as a true whiskymeister. If questioned too closely, bluff. The average questioner knows even less than you do. If confronted by somebody who actually knows a bit about booze, insist firmly that ambrosia of this quality was meant to be sipped, not squabbled about. When really cornered, pass out, come to and insist that your exquisite sensibilities could not bear the lousy quality of the drink.
A few preliminaries: whisky is not Scotch. Be passionate about this. (The Americans will love you.) Try saying: "While comparisons are inevitable between American whisky and Scotch, they are as different as apples and oranges." Take care not to specify which is which. Instead go into technical details.
Bourbon is the Other Whisky and it comes from the land of the free, who classify things as a direct consequence of their freedom. So, to be called whisky, firewater should have these characteristics.
* It should be predominantly made of grain. This immediately shuts out most of Indias produce, which is heavily molasses-based.
* It should be distilled at less than 190 proof. That means it has to be less than 95 per cent alcohol but dont make things so easy for listeners. Say 190 proof and wait with a superior air. Somebody is bound to let curiosity get the better of him.
* The magic phrase here is 'oak barrels, of which more anon. Whisky matures in them. Talk about oak long enough and your reputation is solidly established.
* Finally, the definition of a straight whisky "" it has to age in those barrels for at least two years before it is taken out to be bottled. Jack Daniels, the largest selling bourbon whisky in the world, is aged for at least three.
* The Prohibition era saw good US citizens swilling whisky around in barrels for a dazzling 15 minutes, after which they sold it as a straight whisky. This is a totally irrelevant fact, but it makes your research look impeccable and comprehensive.
* Bourbon is unique to America for three reasons. First, its made of corn, which was unknown to Europe before the 16th century. Second, a key ingredient is the water thats peculiar to Kentucky and adjoining states. It runs through limestone deposits and is free of iron salts. This makes it very friendly to yeast and the fermentation process. Finally, theres the use of brand-new charred oak barrels to give it its unique flavour and red-amber colour. Too bad all this American uniqueness had to be named after a French ruling house by nostalgic 18th century immigrants.
* Bourbon is made in the USA. Its at least 51 per cent corn mixed with rye, barley, malt and so on. 160 proof or less. Aged in new charred white oak barrels at 125 proof or less, for at least two years. Should be 80 proof at the time of bottling.
* By the time a barrel matures, 35-40 per cent of it evaporates. This is called the 'Angels Share. Whats left is so concentrated that it has to be diluted before being bottled. Perhaps thats why in the last century bourbon was classified as a medicinal beverage! This kept a lot of tipplers contented during Prohibition. Steady drinkers did have to know a lot of friendly doctors, however.
* Now, about those barrels... They have to be handmade from white oak. For bourbon, you take a brand new barrel and then set fire to the inside to get it nice and charred. But not to worry "" before the whiskys bottled, the charcoal is filtered out. The wood is instrumental in imparting flavour to whisky, whether Scotch or bourbon. Bourbon manufacturers sell their used barrels to makers of Scotch, Irish and Canadian whiskies who then reuse the barrels till they literally fall apart. So every Scotch bottle began in a barrel that was once housing bourbon! The first use of the wood imparts maximum flavour, but it gets too much for a Scotch. So while Scotch can remain in a reused barrel for quite a while, even 10 years for a bourbon will make it too woody.
* Scotch, especially single malts, contains the smoky flavour that the peat of Scotland imparts. And of course the famous loch waters have as much to contribute to Scotchs taste as Americas limestone waters do for bourbon. Scotch also tastes so vastly different from bourbon because it utilises huge amounts of malted barley, upto 100 per cent for single malts. And lastly, the cool, damp atmosphere that prevails makes it less sweet than the American tipple.
* All American drinks are intended to be served super-chilled and their whisky is no different. Fill up the glass with ice cubes, and slosh generously. As the ice melts, your drink reaches optimum temperature at a dilution level that is not too bad for your health.
* The world over, Scotch is regarded as the drink of choice of the mature palate. The youth seem to prefer bourbon and its smoother, racier taste. It sets them off from their parents. So if you are cultivating the youthful look you know what to order.
* And after all this effort to educate Indian tastes, the big boys in whisky find to their chagrin that there is no premium segment worth talking about in India "" the largest sales of whisky are in the Rs 200-240 range. Its depressing enough to make you want to take to drink.
