Soil Spoils

Holding court at his humble adobe in village Sanpka beyond Gurgaon, Rao Saab has been waxing eloquent on the havoc the budget might wreak on a humble farmer: Itll be a heavy, heavy budget, I know it. The hookah gurgles take on a worried, staccato tone. And as usual, its the farmer/ labourer class thatll get fleeced. The budget is always for them, not us. Rao Saab feels that fertiliser-power-fuel prices can only go one way up. When its six oclock in the evening, can sunset be far behind?

There is a reason for Raos concern. Rao Saab, quite like the present resident of 7 Race Course Road, is a self-professed humble farmer with some not-so-humble assets (a 45-acre stretch near the Delhi-Jaipur highway, a poultry farm, a urea retail agency, a disputed petrol pump, a new Tata 407, two tractors, three two-wheelers and a Maruti 800). No wonder agriculture is a subject dear to Raos heart and pocket, just as it is with his somewhat more illustrious fellow-yokel, the Manninna Maga (son of the soil) of Haradanahalli.

 

It then comes as a surprise when Rao Saab launches a punchy tirade against Haradanahalli Doddagowda Deve Gowdas self-confessed down-to-earth budgetary intentions. No, I wont say Gowda is a fool, he says. It just has to be a toofani budget. How will Gowda accommodate Pay Commission recommendations and phoren loans? Besides, he knows that Sukh Ram and Laloo would also want their share of the budget after all, they also have to run their house. We are sympathetic to their cause. But, tell me, Gowdaji, are you sympathetic towards ours?

But, Rao Saab, what about the subsidies and tax relief that farmers have always been given, one ventures delicately. (You dont argue with Rao Saab; you humbly submit your opinion). What subsidy-vabsidy? We havent seen a single pie. Gowda is not a big enough fool not to know this. If agriculture is so lucrative, why do all of us move from farming to industry rather than the other way round? Anyway, if you dont want to give us subsidies, dont! I tell you...just make fertilisers and electricity free instead, then go ahead and make whatever budget you like. Farmer will be happy.

If the vigorous back-slapping and wah-wahs that follow is some indication, Raos logic mustve had some earthy rigour to it. But, Rao Saab, what if Gowda brings humble farmers like you under the tax net, I persist. A typically trenchant riposte was in order. I might eat two square meals a day, but most farmers are living hand-to-mouth. Name me one farmer who survives only on farming without any side-business. Even this Gowda had to take to politics.

But now, Rao Saab, Gowda wants a Disneyland and an airport in his home district of Hassan... Rao dexterously slips into his local idiom: Gowda to bawli booch hai (Gowda is a consummate idiot). Bechara kisan bade shahar me bichal ja hai, bhai (A poor farmer gets confused in a big city). Par kauva mor-pankh laga ke mor na banta (But a crow doesnt turn into a peacock merely by wearing peacock-feathers). H D Deve Gowda might do well to humbly take note of these hookah rumblings emanating from darkest Haryana on Budget day.