Gaslighting decoded: How trust makes us vulnerable to hidden control

From trust to self-doubt: a new study explains how gaslighters use surprise and manipulation to reshape a victim's reality, making gaslighting a universal risk

Is someone messing with your reality? Science may finally have the answer.

 

Have you ever walked away from a conversation doubting your own memory, judgment, or even sanity? If yes, you may have experienced gaslighting, a term that is everywhere but not properly understood.

 

A study titled A Theoretical Framework for Studying the Phenomenon of Gaslighting, published in Personality and Social Psychology Review, offers the first detailed scientific model to explain how this subtle but powerful manipulation really works.

 

The research, led by scientists at McGill University and the University of Toronto, suggests that gaslighting is not just psychological trickery. It is a learning process where manipulators deliberately exploit trust and prediction errors in the brain.

 

 

“When you trust or you love somebody, you expect them to behave in a particular way. Gaslighters, in our view, are behaving in an atypical way, one that is somewhat surprising, and they’re making use of that surprise to direct the learning of the people they target,” said the study authors.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person makes someone else question their perception of reality. This can take the form of denying events, twisting facts, or suggesting that the target is “imagining things.” Over time, the victim may feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust their own judgment.

 

Researchers emphasise that “this is repeated over and over, until the target has really integrated the idea that they do not actually have a good grasp on reality.”

How does the new model explain gaslighting?

Traditionally, gaslighting has been viewed through a psychodynamic lens, focusing on unconscious conflicts and defence mechanisms. But the study authors applied Prediction Error Minimisation (PEM), a cognitive framework that explains how the brain constantly makes predictions about the world, then adjusts when those predictions don’t match reality.

 

In gaslighting, the manipulator intentionally creates situations where the victim’s expectations are violated. Then, they frame those violations as flaws in the victim’s perception rather than as manipulative behaviour. This process gradually erodes the victim’s confidence in their own reality, a kind of “brain training” gone wrong.

Why does trust play such a big role?

The researchers highlight that gaslighting often occurs in close relationships, such as romantic, familial, or professional, where trust runs deep. Because humans rely on others to build their sense of reality and self, the betrayal cuts deeper.

 

“In our model, there’s not necessarily anything specific about the target of gaslighting that makes them particularly vulnerable to it. In essence, it could happen to anyone, so long as they’re trusting the wrong person,” the study noted.

Can anyone be gaslit, or are some people more vulnerable?

According to the study, anyone can be gaslit. There is nothing inherently “weak” or “flawed” about victims. However, the researchers suggest that future studies may uncover factors like attachment styles or past trauma that could increase vulnerability.

 

Authors point out that understanding these nuances could “lead to better support for people who have been victims of gaslighting.”

 

Although the term “gaslighting” has become a cultural buzzword, used on social media, in relationship advice, and even in political commentary, scientific research on the phenomenon has lagged behind. This study is one of the first to give gaslighting a solid theoretical foundation in psychology.

 

The study establishes that gaslighting is not just “in your head.” It is a calculated manipulation that hijacks the brain’s natural learning processes, and it could happen to anyone.

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