Sense and nonsensibility

BOOK EXTRACT

Nonsense Gone-sense
(by Sukumar Ray; translated by Sampurna Chattarji from the Bengali original) There once was a king "" (snitch, Wasn't a king but a wicked witch!) He had pet peacocks "" (go eat oats, Why peacocks? They were baby goats.) In the courtyard lived his grandsons ""(Without a house what courtyard, dunce?) Apparently a brother on his father's side "" (Not a brother, silly, mother's uncle's bride.) Kind of his protege you could say "" (Born dumb, what could he say pray?) Anyway, there they were the three souls "" (Five, your counting's full of holes!) O can't you stop sniping for a second "" (Okay, if your tale's better than I reckoned.)

Desperate to Hear an Elephant Sneeze
(Rabindranath Tagore; translated by Sampurna Chattarji)

Desperate to hear an elephant sneeze "" Keshta began combing Nepal's many trees. To tickle its trunk took a bamboo twig, and seven jars of snuff each fat and big; Trawling through slush, How hard he tried, Two thousand sneezes Later, he died.

For Better or for Verse
(Sukumar Ray; translated by Sampurna Chattarji)

In a dank forest an old crank asked if I would know "In half an acre of ocean how many jackfruit grow?" I estimated roughly and said, "Begging your pardon "" Just as many as the prawns growing in your garden."

The Smart Aleck
(Vinda Karandikar; translated by Anita Vachharajani)

A smart aleck I know of old, His shoes of solid gold. He goes begging from gate to gate Crying, "People are such cheapskates!" I know a smart aleck, alack! Gives advice from a camel's back; His brother he calls "mister" His aunt he now calls "sister". Says a smart aleck I know, "I'll build myself a bungalow: No dogs will enter in though Horses pop in through the window!"

Let's to Delhi
(Annada Sankar Ray; translated by Sampurna Chattarji)

Let's to Delhi let's to Delhi Dogs on the walk cats on the belly. Come elephants and horses Come lame one-eyed forces. Come mutes and muggers Come crooks and thuggers. Come saints and sages Come head priests of ages. Come film stars and starlets Come jobless needy varlets Come bigwigs and fat pigs Come all who can dance jigs. Delhi's where we'll decide Exactly who's on which side. Then every vote that becomes ours Will put us in the seat of power.

Excuse Me Is This India?
Anushka Ravishankar A cow stood on the sunny beach Eating paper from a bin I went to her and asked her, "Ma'am, Which country am I in?" "It's East of this and North of that And Southwest of the other" At this four crows that stood around Began to caw together. "It's East!" "It's South!" "It's North!" "It's West!" They circled round my head. I put a seashell to my ear To hear the sea instead. I saw a girl outside her house I thought we could be friends "Where am I?" I asked her She replied, "That depends." She drew a map without a place And said, "Let me explain the case: If you were standing on your head I'd say you're on your hair But since you're standing on your feet You could be anywhere." I left her with a silent sigh She waved her broom to say goodbye.