You are here: Home » News-IANS » Opinion-Commentary
Business Standard

Why this journo no longer trusts international media (The Funny Side)


This no longer listens to the international media; luckily I still have the voices in my head. Which leads me to the following query.

Question: What is the main activity of the Answer: Embezzling money from clients, governments, charities and pretty much anyone who wanders by.

"Wait," says the nearest bean counter. "That can't be right. That's not our MAIN activity. We just do that in our tea breaks."

So you'd think. But type "accountant" into Google's and items about them stealing stuff outnumber all reports about them doing mainstream stuff such as auditing companies, filing tax returns, being boring, telling atrocious jokes, spilling coffee on their dark suits, flying to with suitcases of cash, etc.

Clearly accountants are victims of the media's (and humanity's) inherent bias towards bad news.

I first got interested in this some years ago when there was a spate of articles about piano teachers molesting students. I was shocked. Piano teachers might be slow-rocking, hollow-eyed obsessives, yes, but uniquely evil?

Then came a spate of articles about DJs being uniquely evil for the same offence. I was shocked again. Then came articles about TV hosts being uniquely evil, priests being uniquely evil, parliamentarians being uniquely evil, etc.

A eventually explained it to me. Pretty much everybody in the world has had to fend off a creepy guy at least once. That's 7.6 billion victims. So any asking "has anyone been sexually harassed by a (insert profession here)" is guaranteed to get 500,000 people putting up their hands.

Andrew Cline, a who studies this, explained: "Once a master narrative has been set, it is very difficult to get journalists to see that their narrative is simply one way, and not necessarily the correct or best way, of viewing people and events."

A massive recent study in the US showed that the most common industries for sexual harassment cases were hotels, food service, and Piano teachers, DJs and TV hosts didn't even make the Top 10, and we all know that accountants and priests reproduce asexually, like algae and water fleas.

Fortunately, no one takes journalists all that seriously these days. By rights, we should be turning on the night to find a saying: "Breaking news: Nobody believes us any more."

One of my colleagues says that whenever he hears a surprising piece of news, he asks himself: "Is it true or is it " I thought that was a bit cruel until I watched the channel and saw a report blaming Republicans for the last Ice Age, which was 2.6 million years ago.

When did we stop believing? In 2016, every major international repeatedly told the world that a) would be US and b) a win for Trump would lead to instant financial collapse in every market. In both cases, the opposite was true.

Anyway, any reading this can now go back to what you normally do. If it's embezzling, I don't want to know. My fingers are in my ears, la la la la la.

(Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send ideas and comments via his page)



(This story has not been edited by Business Standard staff and is auto-generated from a syndicated feed.)

First Published: Fri, February 09 2018. 11:06 IST