Chicken Feed

The Bihari variety of chicken reportedly cost astronomical amounts in feed as well. That too, without benefit of centrifuges. Some of them apparently mow through 3 kgs of grain per diem. They have another similarity with the Kentucky Mambo chicken. They tend to be inedible, not because they are large and over-muscled, but because they dont exist! Which is oddly reminiscent of the story about the communist farmer who thanked God for his potato crop because neither existed.

It also leads one to digress into the changing face of abuse. Till date, a request to view somebodys parents wedding is considered extremely insulting. A few years hence, it will merely lead to proud offspring whipping out the videotape and fast forwarding through the more boring guests.

 

Similarly, Murgichor has always been a North Indian epithet that defined a smalltimer a lowly sneak thief without the nerves to target bigger game. After the fodder scam runs its majestic course, that word will probably be ennobled in the lexicon of abuse. It deserves to become synonymous with an upcountry scamster stepping high, wide and handsome. A semi-literate magician capable of cooking books on an epic scale with very few ingredients. Someone who takes out a loan for non-existent chicken, seasons his accounts with a few random numberplates to signify transport, and garnishes with many arbitrary tons of feed per day. And then loots the state exchequer to pay for all the above.

It has a certain rustic charm to it. Most rural scams involve livestock and they do possess a charm which criminals in the metropolises have long traded-in for cold professionalism. Some rural scams of course, should attract the attention of the SPCA and Menaka Gandhi.

The water buffalo figures prominently in the quaintest rural fiddles. One of the strangest scams operates in Ranga Reddy district (Andhra Pradesh) where collections are regularly raised to paint white stripes on the ruminants. This is to prevent them being turned into veal by passing motorists at night.

Another more widespread scam involves the hypothecation of buffaloes. This involves several steps and is worth explaining in detail. The first step is to go to a bank which is holding a loan mela and hypothecate a genuine, hale and hearty buffalo. The bank then duly carries out a veterinary examination and insures the beast. In order to identify it, a tag is attached to the ear. A few months later the beast dies. The eartag with ear attached is duly produced at the bank. Insurance is then claimed. Sooner or later, another loan mela, preferably of another bank happens. This time, an one-eared buffalo is hypothecated....