For those, like me, uninterested in politics, the lead-up to a general election, especially in a city like Delhi, is a very painful process. It's like being uninterested in cricket during a World Cup. In fact, it is worse. Because during a cricket World Cup you can at least get on your high horse and say that "it's just a sport", or that you really prefer football and cricket is not athletic enough. To be completely uninterested in politics does not have quite the same ring of self-conscious superiority, and so you can't use it to silence your companions.
Still, I know vaguely that things appear to be happening in the political arena. The Congress, I hear, is being beaten pretty badly. I have very little opinion on this other than that, in any case, the newspapers should not stop covering that Rahul Gandhi fellow. He has nice dimples. I had to watch that television interview with him a few months ago, since everyone I knew was watching it, and I did notice the dimples. I was worried for a while that I should have paid more attention to what he said than to his dimples, but everyone assured me later that I needn't have.
Also difficult to avoid was the next prime minister, Narendra Modi, who was on every billboard I passed for months. I went to Mumbai, and it was the same there. Then I was in Hyderabad, and it was the same there. And then I went to Chennai. But there, even if there were Modi billboards, Jayalalithaa's people seem to have put giant cut-outs of the chief minister strategically in front of them.
See, here's the thing about politics for most of us: we're happy that it's there and someone is taking care of talking about it. We don't really want to know a lot about it ourselves. We need to know what the buzzwords are, or the special phrases. Ideally, they should be short. "Singh is King" - remember that? - was pretty good. This time, all the "Modi sarkar" jokes made sure we remembered his name. But asking most of us to care a lot beyond that is just plain unfair.
Politicians are easy to remember if they have specific characteristics that stand out. Jayalalithaa, for example, has that dark sari and her imposing presence. Mayawati has a handbag, Lalu Prasad has ear lobe hair, and did I say Rahul Gandhi has dimples?
As to what the other differences there are between them, it gets tougher. Political platforms and manifestos, which we know are important but are also boring, are best summarised in a similarly cartoonish manner. Most of us know, for example, that Raj Thackeray does not like people from Uttar Pradesh. And that the Aam Aadmi Party does not like corruption, and that Mr Modi does not like the Gandhis. There is, I know, more nuance to these things. But most of us do not care - because it seems opportunism rules the day for these parties anyway. Even if they claim to have an ideology that is longer than can be written on a postcard, it doesn't mean they will not ally with whoever else they choose, frequently with people who have a completely contradictory stated ideology. The Left and the Congress were allies, weren't they? But the Left was anti-reform, and the Congress was pro-reform. So what are people on the outside to think?
That's why most of us are just happy this election season is over. And we seem to have a government that doesn't need to rely on allies too much, which means things get easier for us - there are fewer politicians to keep track of. In fact, under Prime Minister Narendra Modi, it may be that we only need to track one politician!
And now that this election season is over, hopefully our conversations can return to normal. No more questions about Uttar Pradesh or what is happening in Hyderabad or whether Mamata Banerjee will ever tie up with the Bharatiya Janata Party. Time for normal conversations. At least until the football World Cup starts in a few weeks.
The writer is a Delhi-based designer
Disclaimer: These are personal views of the writer. They do not necessarily reflect the opinion of www.business-standard.com or the Business Standard newspaper
