Success usually comes at a price. The entrepreneur pays with his or her time as the business gains traction; the lawyer learns to hang out with habitual liars. The entertainer becomes an object of lust for strangers.
Learning how to deal with that is critical. A friend of mine established a modest reputation as a stage actor; she quit theatre because she found being " admired" in that fashion too creepy.
A successful actor must instead learn to revel in it and a porn actor has to actively leverage that particular aspect of connecting with the audience. The purveyors of wet dreams must deal with the weird situation of being recognised and hit on by strangers even when they have their clothes on.
Learning how to deal with that sort of attention helps porn stars develop a poise that stands them in good stead in other situations. This was recently evident when a Canadian actress of Indian origin was interviewed by an Indian TV host.
The porn star, Sunny Leone, handled a series of difficult questions with quiet dignity. The interviewer, Bhupendra Chaubey, was obsessed with Leone's work in porn and determined to drag some expression of regret out of her, for being a successful pornographer. She turned him into a laughing stock just by keeping her cool.
One of the odder aspects of that interview was the contradictory moral stances taken by the interviewer. When he claimed Leone was the most googled person in India, he tacitly admitted that Indians watched a great deal of porn. And then, he accused her of morally corrupting 1.2 billion people.
Leone deserves to be appointed India's sexual health ambassador. She's done excellent vanilla sex videos which demonstrate the basic mechanics of intercourse. Her oeuvre and her demeanour make it clear that you can have fun without taking risks, or feeling guilty.
She has done more to educate young Indians about the grammar of sex than the human resources development ministry and the health ministry combined. In fact, both those ministries have failed at the task of sex education. India's politicians have consistently shied away from it.
Sex ed is not on the curriculum in the vast majority of India's schools. The reluctance of parents to allow their wards to learn about sex is cited when politicians are asked why they don't want it on the curriculum.
The assertion is unverified. As far as I know, no government has ever commissioned a survey that asked parents for their opinion; instead, politicians have spouted anecdote and asserted it is data. It is quite possible that many parents do want their children to learn about the birds and bees.
Meanwhile, 28 per cent of Indian girls endure teenage pregnancies. Sexual advice columns deal with truly absurd (and funny) questions that make it clear that the average Indian virgin does not know his/her armpit from his/her pubes. The ignorance about prophylaxis is also appalling.
Naturally, sex ed has been effectively outsourced. Luckily, the increase in smartphone penetration makes it possible for private sector to perform this task with some efficiency. Leone is one of the most popular educators, but she is by no means the only one. Indians rank third globally on the list of porn surfers.
Most Indians learn about sex in terrible ways. They watch women being abused; they are abused themselves. Many pick up the mechanics by watching street dogs having a go. Above all, they fail to learn that sex can be fun for all if there is informed consent and a knowledge of the mechanics.
Leone provides a wonderfully inspiring example. Here is someone with agency who obviously enjoys hitting the sack. There is a cultural connect between her and young indians since she and her partner look desi. Her videos should be promoted en masse. They are excellent demonstrations of best practice for Make (love) in India.
Twitter: @devangshudatta
Disclaimer: These are personal views of the writer. They do not necessarily reflect the opinion of www.business-standard.com or the Business Standard newspaper
